Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Me: Today...

My hair smells of blueberries and my skin like soft lavender, so very calming. The hair is behaving itself today and I am surprised to note that it has grown pretty long falling way past my shoulders in a black slightly uneven curtain. The weather outside is gloomy, slightly damp and humid from the sporadic rainfall just now, and a lone bird crys outside - I wish it would go away for it freaks me out, the cries that it makes.

The house is silent except for the whir of the fan on the table and the clicking of the keyboard. Textbooks and papers litter the floor, the tables and every available surface, making everything seem as if a cyclone came and whippped through the room.
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Perhaps if I was there when the cyclone had come, I would be somewhere near the Land of Oz where assignments and deadlines don't exist, but little munchkins, tinmen, scarecrows, lions and witches with sparkling red ruby slippers await me with open arms and evil grins. Then there of course would be the rainbows and the Emerald City waiting for me with promises of adventure.
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I can sit for hours these days writing silly things like this, day dreaming, or my nose stuck in yet another book which I rented against my own will.

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The stack of books I have read this year can rival the leaning Tower of Pisa, as I hapharzardly stack them one on top of the other. The more important books needed for my assignments are thrown and buried somewhere else.

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I keep telling myself that I should get down to doing the bloody assignments because time is ticking and the whole "Time and tide waits for no man" shite... but here I sit typing things that pass through my mind, anything except the assignments and looming deadlines. The fear will invariably hit me in the face soon...... I hope......

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But for now, I can say that I am content and happy (this is if you put aside the stupid assignments and the darn close deadlines for work that I have!). The void is still there within me, a gaping black and seemingly unendless emptiness... but I don't really feel it anymore. The days strecth luxuriously for me in the mornings and though sometimes it is a pain to wake up and get my ass of to college, various people have helped make it less painful by offering me lunch and company after classes and rides to and from college - bless you all.

I reckon I will go now and play some ZUMA which I have abandoned these couple of days. Then I will perhaps read a book, talk to my mother over dinner and watch "Charmed" with her, maybe get some Baskins Robbins since it is the 31st of May and then perhaps I will sit and tackle the mess of assignments that I have.

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Life is alright at the moment from where I stand. Sure it always could do better, perhaps a nicer gleam and shine to it, but I am content and happy, something I haven't been in awhile and I am thankful for that (thanks you God!).

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