Friday, October 29, 2010

Pen on paper

It has been some time since I wrote wrote.
Pen on paper and all that. 
I had once upon a time in my teens, gathered my essential journaling tools (my pens, magic colourful markers and stickers) and sat down at either my dining room, bedroom desk or to lay sprawled on my living room floor (on Saturdays) to pour my heart, tears and teen angst on to its lined, sometimes scented pages with my very pretty writing.

Later as I grew older, the diaries became less fancy, non-scented very practically,  kinda stylish affairs. The writings too changed. They became darker, more real, less frequent… and instead of my neat pretty writing, I had to contend with the writing that suited my mood of the day.

Today, I hardly touch my journal. I don’t know why. Perhaps its because the entries in this new journal with dark red covers my darkest fears and thoughts in its pages and I am too afraid to read it, to afraid to face these words.

But as I sat ensconced in the priority banking centre of the Penang branch of the hovel I work in on a very dull humid Tuesday, I suddenly felt the urge to write and this is what I wrote on an unlined, very boring, very clinical piece of A4 paper.
Note: This is quite a long post! *grins*
Since there was nothing much for me to read (it didn’t feel right to read a chick-lit book in such serious banking environs) apart from the latest edition of The Edge (a weekly business publication), I decided to flip through its pages and I found myself surprisingly drawn to the articles which screamed to me with their big bold headlines. I was especially drawn to an interview with Mary Buffett (what a name!) the ex daughter in law with legendary Warren Buffett.

She has co-authored several books about Warren’s business style – in essence…
a)     All of Warren’s choices and astute investments were made on what he knew instead of just listening to what other third parties said
b)     Warren is very focused. His investments are based on common sense instead of the complex way in which Wall Street works
c)      Buy what you know – invest in a business that sells products that will never go out of style
d)     Never seek affirmation from others - Warren prefers to go against the herd
e)     Invest in a business that even a fool can run because someday a fool will
f)       The work that Warren does is not rocket science, its just hard work

After reading that article as well as several other articles in The Edge, I reckon that I should have done/will do the following:
a) Read more business publications and the newspapers when my dad nagged at me
b) Paid more attention in my economics and accounting class instead of doodling in the margins or daydreaming or trying to finish my other homework
c) Actually watch CNN, Bloomberg and proper news channels
d) Study harder and read less chick lit and more “real” books
e) Obtain a diploma in finance and economics
f) Not spent so much money on phone calls, knick-knacks and etc.
g) Should have made more use of my year in Australia
h) Paid more attention in math class
i) Stuck on in Mandarin class even though the teacher told me to leave in front of everyone for holding up the class
j) Not stop my love of writing
k) To have saved more and spent less
l) Networked more instead of sitting in a corner

I start to think that perhaps I can actually do the things I want. I can be on the TV. I can help to fight for a cause. I can be on a billboard. I can… if I really wanted to and if my whole being really compelled me to do so, I would. Who knows what I can achieve if I really put my mind to it.

Time management is one of the keys to my success I believe and of course determination. Knowing how to prioritise and focus on the important things in life is what’s most important. 24 hours a day is all we are given. 16 hours to do what is needed including eating and showering (I heart showers!)… really not much time at all given that I spend most of the 16 hours at the hovel being an office mule (perhaps its time to change this?)… so after all this rambling and going on and on, I am hoping that I am going to do the following:

a) Read: The Harvard Business Reviews that I have
b) Read: More economics books and banking stuff
c) Read: All my branding and marketing and PR books
(at this rate, all I will ever do is read!)
d) Learn: computer graphics instead of putting it off
e) Get involved: in church and help out in charity events to help calm and strengthen my soul
f) To have: more prayer time
g) To get: my shopping portal up and running instead of just being a dream
h) Sort out and inventorize my books, DVDs
i) Clean out: my laptop and hard drives
j) Teach: Belly how to walk and behave
k) Save and backup all my photos and docs
l) Exercise more and eat more fruit and maybe greens or not
m) Finally get a move on about the marriage class thingy
n) Sort out my email inbox which is full of nonsense
o) Update: My visual arts dairy
p) Write and send our gifts to my friends overseas (so long overdue)
q) Finally: do my arts and crafts stuff instead of just looking at it and touching it lovingly
r) Bake: something instead of looking at the pictures in my cook book
s) Really try to become a domestic goddess instead of just wishing to be like Nigella!!!

The list really could go on but then I need to go and do work now. Sorry this post is more like a TO DO list rather than a post but I just wanted to write it down so I can remember and you guys can spur me on my quest for “greatness” *snicker*
What a randomness that was.
But it was good to put the pen to the paper.
Perhaps in the future, I will really be writing more… we will see.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Playing tourist

I felt a sudden urge if sorts to dine at The Apartment which overlooks the KLCC fountains. Since B was meeting his biker friends closely, I thought I would treat myself to a an alone time dinner while watching the sun set over KL city.

So here I am. I just had Peking duck crepe rolls, crab and salmon cakes and kick ass mocha latte. The food was pretty good and the alone time even better.

Since I sat down at one of the more prominent sears in the restaurant, I have had several stares. Most Malaysians have a fear of eating alone. I thankfully do not have said phobia and enjoy these moments of solitude. I think best when I am alone.

Night has set in replacing the dusty rose pink of dusk. The lights of the signboards of banks, hotels and multinationals shine in all it's corporate colored glory. The fountains glow and sprout water happily to the heavens. The KLCC twin towers shine like beacons welcoming both the tourists with their cameras and local folk out and about on a Thursday evening.

Ok. The waiters are giving me looks, after all it's dinner time and I am taking up a prime spot. Well the book store beckons so I will leave.

It's good to have alone time abs even better to be a tourist in my own city - if only I had my camera with me *grins grins*

Wednesday, October 27, 2010


A day at Penang island.
A food feast. Hawker delights. Coconut shakes. Sotong mamak mee. Lobak. Etc.
Reading. Writing my stuff.
Awesome massage.
A coffee at Coffeebean with a ham and sun dried tomato muffin.
Twas a good day... But it was incomplete.
You aren't here.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

a breather

I should have brought my laptop since we have free wifi in the room. Bah!! But as B says, I should take this time to relax, so I shall.

Am listening to Gary Barlows "Forever Love" and gazing at the sea from my studio room. The bed is ultra cosy and am so happy that I don't need to bunk with anyone!

I see a coffee later in the evening with a book and possibly old friends and maybe just maybe a massage.

However, I wish B could be here... The bed seems too large for me...oh well.

Let's hope the event goes well tomorrows. See you all soons :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Monday, October 25, 2010

sounds like a walrus

Good morning!
It's Monday.
B is late to pick me up from work.
I look and feel like something the cat dragged in.
Couldn't get much sleep thanks to headahces and flues 
that kept me up last night.

Anyways, today is a new day.
A new morning.
A new beginning.
I wish all of you a good week ahead
and cheers to new beginnings as well.

Btw, Belle was such a sweetheart yesterday.
She made her way to her cage all by herself and
promptly curled up to sleep on her pillow.
Whilst my dad snored in his chair while 'watching' the 
football match on TV, Belly snored along with him.
She sounds like a little walrus.
My heart melted.
She is the best doggy in the world
next to Moshi and Lou of course *grins grins*

Belly ~ younger days when she was smaller and less rowdy!


I feel better.
Thanks Jilly Bean and Meows.
Girlfriends are the best.
{of course B you rock my socks too}

Note to self.
You are loved.
You knows you are better than this.
You knows you gotta let it go.
You knows you have to move on.
You knows that there are better things out there.
You knows that there are loads of people out there
so not worth your time.
You knows that you are a good person
who is trying her very best but is very human at the same time.
You knows that even though Belly is naughty
she still hearts you.
You knows that God whose you are,
is always there beside you through everything
so you need not worry about anything.

I shall sleep with a smile 
on my face tonight.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Just human

It's almost Monday.
I have the flues.

I hate the flues.
I have been going through the Bali photos 
and thinking how quickly time passes by.
It's been a week since I got back from Bali.
All the anticipation, planning, packing... 
and it seems like I never went at times - odd huh?

I went book shopping today at Amcorp mall.
The flea market was interesting as it always is.
My flues got worse.
I was glad to be home watching 'The Vampire Diaries' with B.
I have no inspiration today to do anything.
I had grand plans to write an article of sorts today
or a poem, or start sifting through things for 'The Hoarder's Den'...
but no... no inspiration today.

Dinner was simple.
The night was boring.
I played Bejewelled and bristled with joy 
every time the automated voice said
"good", 'excellent', "awesome".
So much praise in a minute
though I take whatever I can get 
even if its a nameless, faceless, machine speaking to me.
I am not fussed about it, 
Some is better than none,
and all that jazz.

And then I remembered stuff.
People, faces, words, events...
and I wondered "how does one really get over things?"
Is there a formula for putting things in the past,
for forgetting, for getting over, for stopping the envy,
 the annoyance that creeps up to you when you least expect it?
Maybe there is something that you can from a can.
Or a drink in a tin...
maybe a there is a way to purge it all out by sniffing something...
I don't know
though what I know is that it sucks
to not be able to get over things when really,
things, people, places, the world, time and every other thing
has moved on.

But I find that though I walk three steps ahead,
I sometimes pull myself five steps back.
Not very bright I know...
but I am human.
Just a fragile soul
with feelings, with memories and a fluttering heart.

too short

Today is too short... acheli, most days feel too short!

Bless my folks for letting me sleep in this morning though my dreams were plagued with sadness.
I woke up and slept and woke up and slept but the dreams continued on... a series of sorts it seems.
My left shoulder hurts a little from sleeping in odd positions.
I finally dragged my behind out of bed and went to play with Belle and shower the poor stinky poo.

Lunch was slow and languid.
Chicken and 'siew yoke' in a white styrofoam container.
I curled up in bed and had my desert, a book, with a full belly (a very bad habit!)

I later went for a relaxing though slightly painful massage and had some alone time to think while lying on a hot hot stone floor (part of their therapy thingy for oxidization or something or rather which I forgot about!). Sweat puddled everywhere. 
Another reading session ensued after the massage.

Then I had a chit chat session with my mum and Ruby and then B came over and we all went for dinner at 88 restaurant - the 6 of us, a happy family *smiles*
B and I later settled ourselves in cosy armchairs in Starbucks to read (me) / surf the net (B), and when our friends arrived, we proceeded to play Monopoly Deal over ice blended frappacinos and tea.

So, here I am.
I finished editing some photos of Bali... another 1000 more to go or so... 
Stalked enough people on Facebook.
Daydreamed some......

I should be asleep.
I have church tomorrow morning at 8am which leaves me like 4 hours of sleep.
I think I will finish my book...
or not...
lets see how it goes.
Today passed by too quickly.
The days are getting too short.

Friday, October 22, 2010

peanut butter cups

{Click the link to read}

Why the sudden post about peanut butter cups? Well am snacking on one right now
 (courtesy of our IT head who just got back from the USA) 
after Christian Fellowship and after a lunch of noodles.

My old friend Shan, liketh these Reeses pieces...
me not quite a fan, but hey are indeed quite yummy. 

Happy Friday ~ 0.5 days or so to go!

This virtual peanut butter cup is for B *smiles*

That ‘something’

I have been stalking, following ardently, reading Elise’s blog almost daily simply because she has the kind of life that I would one day like to have. Same goes for Martha as well and several other bloggers/self made entrepreneurs whose blogs I frequent.

For those unfamiliar with their blogs or who these wonderful women are or what their lives are about, it is about a life of craft, inspiration, cooking, ideas, outdoor activities, DIY, family, friends… wholesome things.

Unlike my life that is filled with sound pollution, traffic jams (though B drives I hate that we get stuck in jams everywhere you freaking go), unimaginative drones at the office, deadlines, 9-to-whenever jobs which no one really appreciates you for, meager time spent with family and friends… unwholesome mostly very materialistic-ish type things.

Although I may not excel in a life of craft, inspiration, cooking, ideas, outdoor activities, DIY, family, friends… wholesome things (essentially a life of a Domestic Goddess, an ambition I am aspiring towards), I think the best part of  this  is the journey of experimenting and learning and most of all, doing the things that make you happy.

It’s also about enjoying the simple things in life. Taking the time to breathe, to hear the grass grow (“Splendor in the Grass” by Pink Matinee rocks my socks!), smell the proverbial roses (though the last time I did that I didn’t get a strong whiff of anything), to listen, to document, to savour the tastes, smells, sounds, feeling instead of rushing through things.

I fear I have spent most of my life running and rushing for ‘something’ and yet when I think about it in my quiet moments, I realize I have no clue what I am exhausting myself for. I am no closer to knowing what that ‘something’ is, much less achieving that vague ‘something’. And now, whilst I type, I think that maybe I already have this ‘something’, and probably have had it for some time without realizing it as I succumb to the rat race, to the “lets make more more more money so that I can have more assets and be successful” ideology.

The thing now is to be brave enough to say “enough!” and to finally embark on a journey that I really love. Its not easy. I think it’s how our brains have been wired… study hard to get good job --- work hard to get a promotion, huge bonus, buy more things --- work even harder to get bigger better promotion, bonus and more more things and so on… there is no end to this.

I type all this while I am supposed to be working that shows how uninspired I have become. I’m not proud of this really, more sad since at one point I truly loved my job and couldn’t wait to come to work. Those days are ebbing away rapidly. Ebb. Ebb. Ebb.

Anyways, I have much to think about. Choices, decisions, more questions to ponder and chew on and find answers to. Plus its almost lunch time - we are having Christian Fellowship at the work place (We have to meet in secret as it is apparently illegal to gather to worship as we have not applied for a  license. What nonsense!) today with a  speaker as well and its FRIDAY!!!

So happy Friday all. The weekend is a couple of hours away ~ am thrilled!


“Everyone must take time to sit and watch the leaves turn.”
- Elizabeth Lawrence -

I signed up!!!

I finally signed up for the BIG mini workshop by Elise Blaha!!!
It’s the first online workshop that I will be joining and the first workshop ever actually! I am excited!!! (thanks B for helping to do the payments for me – XOXO)

The BIG mini workshop is an online class which will cover :

+ photography for mini books
+ paper selection for mini books
+ telling short stories with words & images
+ various binding techniques
+ strategies for ongoing mini books and travel albums
+ strategies for completing mini books in one sitting
+ messy & tactile books
+ clean & simple books
+ my book building process from start to finish
+ and more.

The class is two weeks long and will run from November 1 - 12, 2010 on a private blog. The class site will remain open throughout the month of November and PDFs of all lectures will be available to students at the end of the workshop. The class is primarily lecture based with oodles of visuals and never before seen samples.


I don’t know how the class will pan out or if I can follow the classes (since the internet has mood swings every now and then and work is somewhat a pain) but I am going to try my best to follow and learn as much as I can from Elise.

I am super excited – did you know?
I can’t wait for November!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

A ranty Thursday morning

Around this time last week, I was in Bali…
In a gorgeous villa (which unfortunately had puddles here and there due to crazy Bali weather)…
Curled up in my four poster dream bed with gauzy curtains and all…
Waiting for the cook to finish cooking my cheese, mushroom and ham omelet, sausages, strips of fried bacon, a lone grilled mushroom and something fried (I have no clue what it was) for my big breakfast. The food would be served with thick black Bali coffee (I will proceed to add 1 and a ½ sugars and some milk) and orange juice --- sweetness!!!
This would be followed by a lazy bath under the rainforest shower in the confines of the open concept bathroom (which was the size of my living room and dining room).
I would later don my swimming suit and shorts and pack my “essentials” in a happy pink cartoony bag to chill out at the beach near Kudeta.

Today, I am at the office, drinking 3-in-1 coffee that my mum gave me some time back (hope its not expired), some slices of raisin and almond bread and a sausage – a far cry from the scrumptiousness of last weeks awesome possum breakfast.
I am in my uninspiring corporate office attire (though some people think it too casual to be deemed corporate office attire) instead of swimmers and shorts.
There is no unpleasant stickiness of sunscreen.
Just a rather odd slightly dry feeling of the air-conditioning blowing stale air and germs from probably years ago (the ventilation here sucks big time!).
Several emails have come in needing my ‘immediate attention’.
I have a list of “things that DW has to do” which I have not tackled as of yet.
Bleh! Bleh! Bleh! Is all I can say to that.

The only constant are my flip flops which I wear to work and wear to the beach.
The beach folks ignore my very off white slightly brownish blackish over used very comfy flip flops
But the office folks turn up their noses and grimace with a snide remark or two about the condition of said flip flops and the inappropriateness of wearing flipflops to photocopy documents in the office.

It would be awesome if I was allowed to tell them to sod off.
But this is my ricebowl so I shut up and drag my flipflopped feet back to my seat.
I hate being back to this stinky stale office with stale air and germs from probably years ago.

It would be awesome if I could be:
1)   At the beach getting a massage
2)   Being with my family and Belly
3)   Hanging out with my friends
4)   Cuddling with B on my dream bed
5)   Grocery shopping
6)   Basically quite a number of places then here

Sorry this is a ranty post for a Thurdsay morning - I would expect this for a Monday morning really.
But I am consoled by the fact that its only 2 days till the weekend and next week I go to Penang for work for 3 days!

Anyways, happy Thursday.
Am hoping to get my photos of Bali and more posts up soon.

P.S: October has been a whole hodgepodge of emotions. Ranging from happiness, to sadness, to worry, to joy, to euphoric, to disbelief, to excitement, to anger, to fear, to hope – will write more about this when I can. XOXO

Monday, October 11, 2010

Long awaited

I have a long list of things that I want.

From gadgets, to the "ideal" weight, to the house of my dreams, to the well stocked bank account, to the job of my dreams, to the dream trip around the world and to the happiest place on earth and a whole host of other things.

Well, I may not have checked all the boxes or even half of the boxes on this list (it is a pretty long list) but I think I am doing pretty okay.

Recently, I can check receiving flowers, having a surprise party, getting engaged, having a romantic proposal and soon, visiting Bali *woot woot*

The past few days have seen me walking around as if I was in a dream... a very nice happy dream *smiles* 

I can't quite describe this feeling though it involves heaps of grinning, shrugging, silly smiles, talking to myself, floating on cloud 99, stealing glances at my left hand and giggling to myself.

I should be on my way to continue packing for my long awaited trip to Bali. Belly is sleeping soundly in her cage all splayed out like a carpet. I hope to get some awesome photos in Bali.
So, here's to my 'engagement honeymoon'  which will be safe, happy and memorably good. See you all soon and God bless.


Thursday, October 07, 2010

Thank you God.

Dear God,

Today has been a really long day. I have been on a rollercoaster ride of emotions.

However, although the day wad long and busy and felt like a Friday, I saw your hand in everything that happened and I would like to thank you for the abundant blessings that you have showered me with.

Bless all those whom I love and keep them safe.

Thanks again God. You are loved.

I said YES!

A boy.
A girl.
A string quartet in Pavillion.
"Can you feel the love tonight" was playing.
We spoke.
He said that he thought couples should always do new things to keep the romance alive... But with me, the normal and everyday stuff was good.
She wonders why he is so emo.
Another song played... A chinese one.
She hugs him.
They sway together.
He pulls out a red velvet box.
There lies one diamond ring, glittering.
By the escalator, by the pillar, in Pavillion, he goes on one knee.
He asks for her hand.
She's so happy.
She weeps.
She smiles. Grins. Snickers. Giggles.
She melts into a puddle of happiness.
She says 'faster. Put it on la.'
It means YES.
She accepts.

Tuesday, October 05, 2010


DW needs to 
learn how to hide
 and overcome 
feelings of 


There is something wrong with the font and the spacing
for my posts *grumbles mumbles*

Solitary Lunch

It's quiet here in the office. If you discount the click clack click tap tap of my keyboard. Surprisingly, everyone is out for lunch today.

I decided that today would be solitary lunch day since B is busy and I didn’t quite fancy eating with the colleagues and because I need to go to the branch in about 15-20 minutes time.

Its quiet in the office – most times I enjoy this silence 'cos it gets quite noisy at times.

Damn the phone just rang. Which fool would call during lunch – a desperate one I guess.

Anyways, so here I am in front of the monitor… still but now with a wooden soup spoon and an Eeyore mug filled with expired instant mushroom soup and expired vege flavored crackers. And it’s pretty darn nice I have to say though I wish the soup didn’t need to be so hot. I hate blowing on the soup.

The day so far has been quite decent. Nothing out of the ordinary. Me pottering about doing my own thing being the office mule again and trying not to answer back to stupid comments made around me. Tomorrow we have 3 events and have been thankfully excluded from the third event of the day which is a dinner event. I finally have an opportunity to spend time with B as it is our 2nd year anniversary. In the morning during breakfast, he enquire as to what time I would be back to work and I said maybe I would not be coming back and he kept prodding me about when I would be back at the office and then suddenly he goes like “I sent flowers to your office for tomorrow”.

At this point, I feel a range of emotions like ‘oh no… there goes the surprise’… ‘happy happy joy joy’… ‘floats like a helium balloon up into the sky’ and ‘damns… I need a present pronto!’.
I don't know what to get B just yet (he is probably reading this so I can't divulge what I want to get him even if I have some ideas) so am just hoping that I stumble upon something or get a stroke of genius and a huge jackpot soon.

So, I am waiting patiently for a bunch of flowers to come at 3pm tomorrow in my office – I am jubilant! This will be the first anniversary I spend with B since last year I was in Ho Chi Minh for work. I am still grinning as I type this btw… hehehehe *snickers grin grin*

heart flowers.
heart B.

Yes a very random post indeed.
But its lunch time, we are allowed to be footloose and fancy free and slighty nutty for an hour… or so I tell myself *smiles*

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