Wednesday, June 28, 2006

The Waiting Game!

I hate the
waiting game!!!
(it totally sucks)
~* Hugsss needed *~

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Rants during Lunches

"The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experiences." -Eleanor Roosevelt

It’s lunch time again (I had a bacon and cheese sausage sandwich and a banana for desert) and it seems that I have quite a fair bit of time during lunch these days to just do my own thing, and contrary to what Spongy thinks, I don’t blog during working hours, because lunch is technically not working hours… or so I would like to think.

I was glancing at some friendster pages against my better judgment and well I guess I got an unpleasant surprise when I saw one of the photos on a friend’s page. My feeble heart sort of got broken again but then since it was already broken to begin with, the pain is just a dull throb. Sometimes I wonder why I like to torture myself with thoughts that I shouldn’t be thinking of. Perhaps I am like some sadistic person and I don’t know it *shock horror gasp*
The past few days have been pretty alright. Bouts of diarrhea here and there and work that can rival the twin towers and nasty arse clients who I wish with all my heart I could kick nicely on their arses and ask them to nicely fuct off. Sometimes I even wonderer if these people are even human!

You would probably be thinking why I have so much time to wonder about things but then that’s the only joys I get every once in awhile ~ to step out of my work mode thinking and think about other things *sob sob sob*

Yup working life can be a real biatch!
But then I guess it had to happen… I just thought though that I would be different. Not like this. And you know what, strange as it may seem, the Possum has been a real comfort and support to me and I guess I feel super duper awful sometimes when I forget all the good things he is capable of and only see the negative side of things.

He knows just what to say and how to make me feel better, like giving me a much needed back scrub, apricot cooler from Marche, stupid joke to make me smile or good seats to see Disney’s Winnie the Pooh live (he bought me those tickets because I was feeling super miserable that I couldn’t go to see Coldplay because I had an event – was really bummed out about that btw!).
-Its hard to find a guy who would sit through the show and even pay for the tickets becasue he knows I would love it - He also knows the scents I like and he knows the type of food I like so much so that when he goes traveling, he brings me stuff that he knows I would love but never ask him for. ~Yupyup Possum, I will share the stuff with yous!

Perhaps some of you all may think that this is a relationship based on dollars and cents but in all honesty he is one of the only people in the world who knows me incredibly well. He respects my space and I guess I have been taking advantage of that. I am not perfect… (Sorry, but I was not built to be perfect!) really far for being so and life has led me down paths I never imagined I would take, but for now, I guess this is where I am. The Possum and I just like was before.

I have experienced much of life.
I am sure there is much more experience that awaits me. And as for you who still plagues my mind every once in awhile… I have reached out to you but this is the furthest I can go an the furthest I want to go... You will always remain in my heart.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Some Sunshine ~

Unanswered prayers...
please come true.
*sob sob sob*
there is so much work I have yet to complete...
Probably I just need some sunshine I suppose...
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Ahhh... I feel so much better now
after getting this moaning out of my chest!

Monday, June 19, 2006

Still Surviving

"I shall take the heart," returned the Tin Woodman; "for brains do not make one happy, and happiness is the best thing in the world."
- L. Frank Baum, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

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I am Still Surviving!
There is still much to learn at work and in my life in general.
So many things I thought I knew and understood and yet I find that I merely thought I knew them but in actual fact I am as clueless as they come.
I however am finding out things about myself which I love and things which I hate and I yearn for the girl I was, I yearn for you to say that I am beautiful, I yearn for the freedom I once had which I now search for tirelessly, I yearn for wisdom to make the right choices in life, I yearn for content in my life, to be happy with what I have, I yearn for hope for better things, I yearn for peace in my life, heart and soul, I yearn for a hand to hold...
Things are going to get better, better, better. Although somethings aren't perfect yet, everythings alright. *Dream Weaver* makes wishes of everlasting happiness...
p.s: Updates on everything will be up shortly!
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The Time Is Now

~ The Time Is Now ~

Robert Paul Moreno

If you are ever going to love me
Love me now while I can know
All the sweet and tender feelings
From which the true affection flows

Love me now while I am living
Do not wait until I am gone
And then have it chiselled in marble
Sweet words on ice-cold stone

If you have tender thoughts of me
Why not whisper them to me?
Don’t you know it would make me happy?
And as glad as can be

If you wait until I’m sleeping
Never to waken here again
There will be walls of earth between us
And I wont’ hear you then

I won’t need your kind words
When the grass grows over my face
I won’t crave your love and kisses
In my last low resting place

So if you love me, even a little bit
Let me know while I’m living
So that I can treasure it.

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