Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Extra Butterfly Wings for you ~

I am sitting here typing in the back room with the stark flourescent light shining, hurting my eyes. I turned off the air con cos for some weird reason I actually feel cold. I am not sure why I am not out like I always am, I guess things are changing for me yet again. I got my new time table, I got a new job, I got an A for General Psych class, I got a new soap dish (its pink in the shape of a fish).. but I lost you.

I am sitting here typing in the back room, chatting with people whom I havent spoken to in awhile and it makes me grin this little grin, a neither happy grin nor a dismal grimace. Met a friend from my old secondary school today.. we never really talked I guess cos she was a miss popular and I was the wierd nerd creature.. but we talked today after years of not. It was nice - I was grinning and felt fuzzy though the fuzziness didn't last very long as I sank back to earth on that red cushioney seat.

Totally out of context, You know what.. my faith in you has lessened and I find myself clutching at torn whispers hoping that this time, once more, things will be different. I am missing you even as I type and as I think of you.. willing the silent phone to ring, but it does not.. So I am moving on.. things change.. people change, or maybe you just didn't know them to begin with. I so hate my ramblings and how my thoughts get so jumbled and mixed up.. but then again, its just me.

Classes are starting, work will take up most of my free time..then there is church and chores.. So yeah.. I guess I am going to move on instead of waiting like I always do. You know where to find me if you need a friend, if you need a shoulder to cry on, or someone to make you smile.. I just wanted to hear your voice and have your blessing so to say, about everything that has happened. I guess in some ways, I will still wait for that.. on the other hand, You know that I will always be here, waiting for you at the edge of the rainbow with my Butterfly wings in hand (yes, there will always be an extra pair for you). I miss you.. I really do.


Anonymous said...

It's by chance that I got here, I was just clicking from friend to friend on Friendster until I reached your page and found the web address to your blog spot rather intriguing. I like the way you write (or is it type?) because you seem to describe emotions very well.
Anyway, I won't assume that you need someone to talk to as it does seem like you've just lost someone. How long has it been? What happened? And how're you these days?

*Dream Weaver* said...

Anonymous: Fistly, thanks for writing your thoughts as not many ppl do that on my page. (Not sure as to how many people actually take the trouble to read about my little insignificant life.) Glad that you did though. Just a thought, I don't really believe it was chance that you stumbled upon my blog, I would rather think of it as destined (you probably think I am being all drama queen like, you are probably right) because everything that happens, happens for a reason. Not sure what the reason is for the commment that you made, but I think that in time we will all know. Perhaps it is just you affirming what I do, or how I write.. Its been awhile since anyone said that to me.

"Anyway, I won't assume that you need someone to talk to as it does seem like you've just lost someone." I dont' quite get that sentence but in all honesty, I do need someone to talk to.. really talk to - not just the mundane "hello, how are you?" type of conversation which I honestly have been getting a lot of. What I need is some good old fashioned talking and understanding I guess..

These days nothing seems to go the way I planned it to(though I think nothing ever goes the way we plan it to). The weeked wasn't too good.. as you can read the blog, but I am trying to see the brighter side of things and things are looking up, slowly but surely. Had an alright day today, but there is this missing piece.. and somehow that missing piece just casts a dark shadow over everything in my life. Am trying so very hard to smile, but it seems forced and the smile is just not quite right.. slightly off to the side.. distorted and even broken perhaps..

Sorry for the long reply, I think I am just in that 'emo' mode where I need to write and I just want someone to read. Thanks for posting a comment.. it did cheer up my night some. Hope you will have a wonderful week ahead of you. *God bless*

Anonymous said...

Firstly, dear Dreamweaver, you're welcome =) Though I do start to wonder why you'd actually share your day with others in your blog? Of course to each his own, but I'd like to know as I can be a curious cat sometimes. And as far as destiny is concerned, things do happen for a reason and at most times we'll never know why or what for but that just adds to the fun of finding out what happens next, wouldn't you agree? And yes, I do like the way you write, why? Maybe I'll let you know next time but till then, keep on typing!
Aren't we all after a good conversation these days? But if you do need someone to talk to, well, if you're comfortable telling an anonymous person how you feel, then by all means. I'll do the best that I can to listen and understand, maybe even suggest something.
And you were apologizing for replying a little too long?
"I guess I am going to move on instead of waiting like I always do. You know where to find me if you need a friend, if you need a shoulder to cry on, or someone to make you smile.. I just wanted to hear your voice and have your blessing so to say, about everything that has happened. I guess in some ways, I will still wait for that.. on the other hand, You know that I will always be here, waiting for you at the edge of the rainbow with my Butterfly wings in hand (yes, there will always be an extra pair for you). I miss you.. I really do." This line makes me wonder if you lost something or someone. So...which of the two did you lose?
It's always difficult to put on a happy face when things go wrong, what more if your world suddenly turned upside down. I was there earlier this year and though I'd like to think that I'm feeling better these days.....but that 'feeling' is always there, at the back of my mind. Yet i make the most out of my day the best I can. It takes time, but time can never take it all away. But don't worry, things happen for a reason and probably for the best =)
As for now, I am going to finish my dinner =) So till next time, take care and have a nice day!

*Dream Weaver* said...

Dear Anonymous.. Sometimes I wonder why I am so hooked to this blog thingy. Why I so readily disperse my feelings online to virtually anyone that happens to stumble upon my blog. But what was the whole purpose of the blog in the first place? For me, it is a chance for my friends overseas to catch up on my life and for those friends whom I rarely talk to.. but honestly I just want people to know me, the real me - A person without any masks or guards on ~ Just me as I am.

Finding out what happens is always the best, though at times (more often than not) I tend to be impatient and try and create an ending for myself instead of letting things take their due course. I have learnt the hard way how to let things be as they are instead of pushing something to make it happen the way we want it to. Do tell why enjoy reading what I write, whats more write back to me an equally long reply (it is so difficult to find people who write back lengthy messages these days) - like you I am curious as well (yup, like a cat)

Sometimes talking to an anonymous person (eventhough that person knows you)is better than talking to someone you know.. someone whom you can see face to face cos it would create certain barriers and make me censor the things I really want to say. (get what I mean?)

I lost someone and something.. both at one go which makes things harder.. Mind you actually it is not only one person, it is a few. Perhaps I am confusing you, sorry if I am. Just felt it was easier to write this way.
Yes putting on a happy face is killing me really. A task I find so difficult to bear, but I do it anywaym everyone expects me to be that way, always smiling and happy. Singing songs, making silly jokes and doing my stupid accents. (oh, well someone has to be the idiot and clown!)

About you being in a simmilar position, may I be of help like you are to me, listening to my ramblings, or rather reading my ramblings..
"I was there earlier this year and though I'd like to think that I'm feeling better these days.....but that 'feeling' is always there, at the back of my mind. Yet i make the most out of my day the best I can. It takes time, but time can never take it all away. But don't worry, things happen for a reason and probably for the best =)"
Really agree with you on this as I have been down this same road and perhaps may also still be on it unknowingly. Whatever it is, do know that I will be here for you to talk to if you need someone. I guess misery loves company (its actually lyrics from a song by Soul Asylum - just remembered it)

Anyways, tomorrow is the first day of my new semester. I have got some packing to do (yea I am looking forward to it really - like a happy camper) and some arranging of files to do as well. Hope you had a good dinner.. mine was all right, my mum cooked *grin* miss her cooking. THank you honestly for writing.

*We are all Angels, each one of us with only one wing and we can only fly if we embrace each other*

Anonymous said...

Dear Dreamweaver,
I would've actually started on my own blog but the thing is, i can't make time for it and i'm not very good at coming up with things to write. But I miss writing as I use to do before. Back then, I had a reason to write and I enjoyed doing it. But now, it's just not the same anymore as i can only write about one particular thing. Thankfully, there's this little piece of heaven that I can comment on and reply to.

What I like about your writing is that it has a 'real' feeling as in it did actually happen (but of course it did) and it's almost as detailed as it happened. At the same time it's not too 'dark' to make you seem completely disturbed or too 'cheerful' to make you seem fake. I guess in short I just like your writing the way it is. Or perhaps it's because I can actually relate to some of your writings.

If you caught me a few years ago, I'd probably agree with you that it is best to sometimes talk to someone you can't see. And it's true that certain barriers are in the way when you do talk to someone face to face. But 'change' had changed all that. Nowadays I'd really prefer to talk in person. It feels much more personal that way. Also, some emotions are sometimes best expressed through actions rather than words. Sometimes, even both. And that's why I'd actually prefer meeting people in person. I try to be as honest and (unfortunately) blunt to people I talk to. I try to do away with the 'barriers'.

So do explain what happened. If you don't mind of course. And don't worry if I can't digest whatever you've said or going to say because I'd ask you to elaborate further.

Sometimes it's okay to let your guard down. You can't always pretend to be okay when you're not. And it's okay to feel a little down and sad once in a while, people would understand. Or you may even get the help or advice that you'd really need. Being yourself has nothing to do with how other perceive you, afterall, we're only human and it is human to show how you really feel. But we all have our own ways of dealing with our problems right?

Yeah, I lost someone at the very end of last year. She left without a proper reason or explanation. All I knew was she wanted to leave me. I loved her a little too much but then again, love is something you can't really take control of. I still love her and I miss her. But the girl I fell in love with, the person I loved so much is already dead to me. She's changed into someone else. I know that sounds a little absurd but that really is the case. And for the entire year, so far, i fight my own internal battles. Unlike her, i'm surrounded by everything that reminds me of her. She on the other hand has landed herself in Melbourne and found herself another. Like i've said, she's dead to me and perhaps that's my way of getting over her.

Good luck for class tomorrow. Hope you have a good time. As for me, i've to leave for class soon. And yes i had a rather good late dinner yesterday. Take care dear Dreamweaver. I'll be looking forward to your reply.

*Dream Weaver* said...

Dear Anonymous,
Am having a four hour break now and am contemplating if I should go home or stay here in college. I have a feeling I will stay. Once upon a time I would have had someone to accompany me.. not sure where that person had gone to.
You said you could only write about one thing? What is it? I mean even if you could only write about one thing, by all means write away. Just write whatever comes to your mind from your heart or from wherever. Thanks though for deciding to pen down your thoughts on this piece of Heaven. (thats what I hoped for in the beginning - that ppl would write what they felt and etc.)
Your explanation as to why you like my writing, is an affirmation that I am not merely just penning crap and wasting the readers time.. and that there are ppl who acutally get what I write and understand what I am trying to say.
About the whole issue of speaking to someone in person, I do agree with what you have said, however sometimes I think it is better to be anonymous, though as you have said actions sometimes speaks louder than words. However, I dont' think I am good with reading actions..
Its good to be blunt to ppl as well and dimisnish whatever barriers there are - they hinder certain things.

I want to explain what happened. I want to let it all out so that this depressingly dark cloud around me wil just go away and leave me with clear sunny rainbow filled skies. But I myself am lost at the moment. Unsure of what I am doing, unsure of what is going on.. It saddens me to admit this, but unfortunately this is the case. Of course there is a beginning to this ordeal, but its too long and complicated and talking about it on my blog is just not a good idea.
Sometimes I would love to just do whatever I want to do and show my true colors to everyone, but that can't be so. Ppl find it difficult to accept the real me, at times it seems as if I am making everything worse.

With regards to your problem of her leaving you, I have a sort of simillar problem. Not as tough or difficult as your situation but shitty nonetheless. Yes, love.. an uncontrollable force.
"But the girl I fell in love with, the person I loved so much is already dead to me. She's changed into someone else. I know that sounds a little absurd but that really is the case."
No worries, for I understand your sentiments well. I have a few dead people I know as well (no pun intended)Sometimes people change so much, we hardly know them anymore and strive to find some sort connection to the old them, try to remember them as they are.. but its all in vain I think for the old them is gone.

Our battles in life (however simple and insignificant it may seem to others) are difficult and to each and every person, the pain is different, the heartaches more severe.. but I hope that you will survive it all and become a better person after all. I wish you wisdom so that you may discern right from wrong, I wish you hope for better things to come and I wish you love so that every pain and sadness that you feel will be replaced with happiness and joy and your heart, mind and soul will be at peace.
Hope you have a good day and thanks for the well wishes for my class. Glad to hear you had a good dinner *grin* Looking forward to your reply..

Anonymous said...

Dear Dreamweaver,
People who look on the brighter side of things, people who dared to hope, people who'd give for nothing in return, are the indeed a rare find. And after three consecutive nights, you give me the impression that you are one of those very few people. My compliments to you.

Well, I suppose it would be inappropriate to mention what really happened to you. Who knows who might be reading this? But if you do need someone to talk to, I'm here for you to do that. Though that would mean I can't remain as Anonymous anymore =) It's obvious that we actually know each other but it was at most on a hi-bye basis. Though i do admit that i like to play this silly game where you can keep on guessing who i am but it's really up to you if you want me to reveal myself. I can't be playing Bruce Wayne or Clark Kent all the time you know =)
Anyway, back to you. I hope you're doing well yourself. I know it first hand that it's tough, but then again so do you. It's just a matter of riding out the waves to reach some still waters. The worst part about, in my point of view is that you'll never know how long it's gonna take.

As for me, i know the entire 'event' has made me stronger than ever. Things do happen for a reason and i'm glad that so far, it's been for the best of reasons. And yes it's true that my memories of her are indeed in vain, but it helps me move on, it reminds me of the good times we've shared and that it really is over, unfortunately.

No one said life would be easy. But you take it one step at a time. After falling, you dust yourself off and get back on your feet again. I believe that there are at least two paths from which we can only onefor each action or each thought we need to make. So for you, dear Dreamweaver, may you choose the best path to make your decision. And if you choose the wrong one, don't regret. Because at that instant of time, it was probably the best choice for you to make. Time travel is still science fiction, so there's no turning back. Make do with what you have, no matter where you are. And if it hasn't been your day, look up to the sky and just smile, because it could've been worse! One more thing dear Dreamweaver, keep those extra butterfly wings for yourself and fly higher than you ever have before!

I've to go take a shower now. Can i expect a reply from you once i'm done? Or perhaps you're fast asleep already. If so, then sweet dreams to you and have a great day tomorrow!

*Dream Weaver* said...

Its about 2 ish in the afternoon and already I have had a full day. Pretty tired really, but I have much to look forward tonight.
Thanks for your compliments *blush*
Yeah.. I think it is inappropriate to mention what happened, I don't want everyone to know what my problems really are.. and yes.. who knows who will be reading this, though I highly doubt there are many ppl (well better be safe than sorry).
I honestly do not know how to talk to you.. I suppose you know who I am, but I don't. I have thought about it, but never really thought about it. Its just the words that you say and the experiences that you face which draws me to you and creates a bond which I can't explain. Funny how if you say we know each other on a "hi-bye" basis only, because now, perhaps this is silly for me to say, but you understand me better than most of my good friends.
Although I want to know who you really are, I would like you to be just another Bruce Wayne or Clark Kent. I have to sort some thing out first before I know who you really are. For all I know I might have just passed you in the hallways or something......
I am doing better.. still waiting, yes.. it is the worse part but I have been waiting all my life for different things, so I guess in a way this is nothing new though I have to admit my spirit is very restless.

Everything you wrote, is true and I find it so relevant to me.. are you sure you are just a "hi-bye" friend?
Memories, Emotions, Patience, Hope, Life, Time.. yeah.. these are the things that revolve around me now.. and it is difficult but I can't say that I haven't been in a simillar position.

"One more thing dear Dreamweaver, keep those extra butterfly wings for yourself and fly higher than you ever have before" - This will be the first time I am handing out butterfly wings and I feel strangely sad that it has not been claimed.. perhaps you are right, I should just keep them.

Sorry the reply wasn't as soon as you expected, rarely in life do you get the things you expect.. hehehe.. anyways.. going for my law class now. Hope it is riveting.. I need something to wake me up.

Hope that you have a great day yourself, and if I see you and say "Hi-bye", I am sorry.. I wish I could say more to you.. but for now that is all I will say. God bless and thanks.. there is much that I want to thank you for.

Anonymous said...

Dear Dreamweaver,
It's 2130 hours or 930pm and I'm eating my vegetables now =) I just got back from varsity about an hour ago, and i'm going out for a drink in an hour. So that gives me about an hour to write to you.

Well don't worry yourself too much about who i am. And just to let you know, we haven't been on a hi-bye basis in eons! Chances of bumping in to each other is highly remote. And as long as i remain anonymous, this is where we shall meet. We can treat this place as our little hang out place, a public place where people will pass us by without really taking note what we're talking about. And this post, where we've been talking to each other can be our little table, perhaps with some drinks or desert on the side.

It is strange how the people we're close too, are sometimes the last people on earth to understand you. But everyone has their own thought, their own judgement and perception of things, things that would seem completely absurd or even difficult for them to understand. As far as i am concerned, i try to understand what people are going through, though i do admit that there have been times where i just can't be bothered to understand. We've probably been through similar situations and it's possible that we handle things similarly. As for me, i feel that i'm already on top of things with the occasional emotional drops. So if ever you're in need, i'll be here =)

I'm having oranges now, do you want some?

No need to apologize for replying late, i'm just thankful i've something to look forward to =) To be surprised is way much better than expecting something, wouldn't you agree?

Now i have to apologize for not replying long enough as i have a cousin to tend to in 20 minutes. Hope you have a fun time tonight, it is the weekend afterall. Take care dear Dreamweaver. I'll be looking forward to your reply, as i have for the last 4 nights.....wait a minute, i'm not keeping count! i promise! hahaha


Talk to you soon dreamweaver. Sweet dreams for you later.

*Dream Weaver* said...

Dear Anonymous (u should give yourself a nick really, anonymous sounds so distant, and I would already consider you as a friend)

Its about 1am and I just got home from my graduation/prom night thingy. I feel..... I am not sure how I feel at this moment, sitting here with the air con blowing right at me, with my painted face and party clothes on wishing I was asleep as it has been a long day physically and emotionally, yet I find myself here writing to you again, glad that there is a reply waiting for me. (how sad, huh? I am Not a very happening person) I agree with the whole notion of surprises. I crave them, but hardly get surprised.

I have to admit that which each reply I get, I am getting more and more curious. "And just to let you know, we haven't been on a hi-bye basis in eons! Chances of bumping in to each other is highly remote." - Why is this so? Are you overseas?

So I guess this is our hang out.. we can always meet here I guess, in my little piece of Heaven ~ Sounds real nice to me =)

"We've probably been through similar situations and it's possible that we handle things similarly." - I strongly agree.
"So if ever you're in need, i'll be here =)" - You seem so far away, maybe we should talk on MSN or something..
Do I know you well, or are you just a casual friend? Yes, curiousity getting the better of me.

Tonight, I just feel like sleeping and not thinking about whatever is bugging me, which I have to say is alot of things. I feel so old. I feel like I let myself down and in some ways I am happy that I did the things I did tonight. I was also quite upset when I heard the stories my friends told me with regards to their lives now and when the last photo was snapped tonight, I felt like there was this finality to it. And I think the sadess part of tonight was when everyone left with someone, and I just stood them empty.(Sorry if I am speaking in riddles.. I am as confused as I sound, thus the need to just sleep and not think about it which is not possible since I tend to think alot before I sleep)

Thanks I think I need oranges.. not for eating, Throw them at me I think i deserve it. I just wish that things were back to the way they were.. sigh.. such wishful thinking for an early saturday morning. I have work tomorrow, so I am not really looking forward to tomorrow, though there is always a glimmer of hope of finding someone again, or small blessings, or little surprises on the horizon (keeping my fingers crossed).

Its been a really long long day and how I wish I could be in someones arms, floating on some soft clouds with a cool breeze wafting around me. *hmmm* Well thanks for the sweet dreams, I think I need it. Take care and hope you have a better weekend then me. Pray that the people I serve tomorrow are nice.. hehehe =)

*So she turned off the lights I and sighed. She went outside and looked at the stars and with all her might she wished that the ones that were lost could be found again, that the tears that fell will finally be dried, that lovers parted would be rejoined and that broken hearts, soon will mend*

Anonymous said...

Dear Dreamweaver,

Perhaps i should be given a name. Suggest a name for me. I can perhaps be one of the many characters in your little piece of heaven.

A curious cat aren't you? But i can say that this is a case of being so near yet so far. We never really knew each other and even that was years ago. But over the last few days, i think i'm begining to learn more about you and i find myself wanting to know more.

Don't knock yourself up because you find others are doing better than you. Don't put yourself down. Never ever do that. You're doing things at your own time, at your own pace. The most important thing, is knowing you'll get there. And what happens after you get there... think about it later. As far as being single again is concerned, it's a good thing. It does get a little painful to see couples wherever you go, and it's difficult to be happy knowing that you've been there when you just miss too much. But rest assured, you'll find someone someday, perhaps he may be the one you're destined to be with. But until then, take this time to do things for you and yourself. When i was in relationship, i hardly had time to think for myself as all i did was think about her. And now that i've be liberated (so to speak), I've found myself again, i know what i want to do for myself and i'm doing great now. So in short, dear Dreamweaver, forget about being sad and frustrated that things aren't going as planned. Instead feel good about yourself because you've already come a long way going through on one of the toughest times in anyones lives. And know that with each passing day, you're one step closer to new begining.

If i do get another orange, and if we do meet one day, we can sit down somewhere and share it. Unless, you can't take oranges or the orange is absolutely sour or rotten, then i'd consider throwing it away, not at you =)

What is it exactly are you doing today?

As for me, i'll be home for the rest of the day. I've got a lot of minor things to do. Like clean my room, scan a stack of photos, software to reinstall, a bit of studying, workout a bit, look for materials online, print out some notes and of course, waiting to hear from you.

It doesn't look like a windy and bright sunny day. Actually it is =) but it's not blue skies =) but it's okay =) Anyway, hope you're feeling better today and good luck with the work you have to do today. I'll be checking back every once in a while for a reply. But don't force yourself to reply if you don't want to alright. Take care Dreamweaver and have a fantastic day!

*Dream Weaver* said...

Dear Anonymous, From today forth you shall be called simple Angelus.. an Angel from above who visits my little piece of Heaven and who seemingly brightens my day.

Angelus, (if you don't like the name, you can tell me and I will change it for you) so I never really knew you huh? "But over the last few days, i think i'm begining to learn more about you and i find myself wanting to know more." Same feelings on my side as well. *smile*

Trying to be happy for the things that I have achieved and the things that I am doing right now. At times I still feel lost, but then I guess as the days go by, I am finding my path again. "You're doing things at your own time, at your own pace."
Yeah perhaps I am slow like a tortoise as I am very fond of them and maybe have learnt some of their slow habits.. hehehe..

As for me being single, I am not sure about that really. I am meeting him in about an hours time and we will see where we are at. I have resolved not to have any regrets anymore as I have had many, thus I will be saying whatever I need to say and hope that things will work out for the better.

I believe that the one of the greatest regrets man have is that they never get to say or do the things that they really wanted to due to their ego, pride and the 'what-if' syndrome. They end up lost and empty and restless.. and I for one have been there and do not like that feeling. So, if I have to let go of my pride and my ego, I will.. simply because I know what I want and I am going to do all I can to achieve it and I want to live my life without any regrets. Everything happens for a reason.. yup.. I truly believe that.

I am going to go soon to eat my lunch of soup and pasta. Yupyup. Wish you could have some and if we do meet perhaps we can share a meal of pasta, soup and oranges.

Hope you have a wonderful day as well doing 'minor things'. It is sunshiney outside, a day with much promise (hopefully). What will I be doing, I will be working today as a watiress for a good 8 hours, hope the people will be nice =) As always, I look forward to your reply. I may not reply tonight, not because I dont' want to, I think I may be alittle tired.. but don't think I am doing this out of obligation, k?

*And this is the first time that I have had so many comments on one page.. =) *grin* - Nice!!!

God bless and Angels watch over you..

Anonymous said...

Dear Dreamweaver,

So i guess i'm hardly anonymous anymore =) Angelus sounds great to me. It's great to know that i'm making someone feel better these days.

Well don't worry yourself about how fast or slow things are going for you alright. If you can go faster, do it. If you need to slow down, then by all means. You're only, 21 or 22? I felt kinda old earlier this year but then i realized that i'm only 22 this year. I'm still young. So you still have plenty of time, but don't waste any of it =)

I'm curious to know the details of your 'story'. I'm also wondering why are you going to see him? Well, it's too early for me to be jealous already =) but trust me, i'm just curious. There was a time where all i wanted to do is see her. I wish that she could just take some time to just explain to me about everything that brought her to change her mind about us. But until today, she just can't speak to me, not even over the simplest conversations. And i've only seen her once after she left. Since you have that chance i never had, i hope you made the best of it.

That's a good thing if you're going to try not to regret anymore. On top of saying or doing the things you really want to, you should also learn to know when not to blame yourself for things. Also, that whatever you decide to do was probably the best at the time, no matter how stupid it may seem. Just be happy if things are good, and do something about it if it's not.

It has been an unproductive day today! hahah I did say i had a number of minor things to do, but immediately after lunch, i took a very long nap =) I'm just too good at procrastination. But i'm not going out tonite, so i'll be doing the things i should've done just now, later.

Hope you're having a good day so far. You work as a waitress? Can i ask where? =) A full 8 hours. Well, if you do come online tonite, and if you read this, i want you to go straight to bed at the end of this reply. You've probably gotta go to church tomorrow, you should rest.

Well i'm going to give you mail address. Though i believe i risk compromising my true identity, i'll leave it to your discretion if you want to find out who i am. It would be fair, afterall for you to know who i am as i know who i'm talking to =) and i assure you, should you want to find out, it changes nothing between us. This is who i am.

So here you go

And you're welcome for me making this post, the post with the most number of comments! But it's only me, does it count? =)

Take care Dreamweaver, hope to be chatting with you on MSN or something soon.

*Dream Weaver* said...

Dear Angelus, Even with your real name or the one I gave you, you do belong in my little piece of Heaven.
=) So, now I know who you are, the name of one of the arch Angels.. never would expect it honestly, but nonetheless pleased that it is you. Nothing changes, just that now I have a face to think abou when I write.. *grin* Will email you soon, need a nap as I have work again later..sigh.. Hope u have a good day and will hopefully have done all you set out to do.. (no worries if you don't - u have met a fellow procrastinator as well) *hugs*

Anonymous said...

Dear Dreamweaver,

That didn't take very long for you to find me out. But it's been an awfully long time hasn't it? Honestly, i wasn't expecting you to find out so soon. But things rarely happens the way we expect it to be right? =)

Hope you've had a good nap, and have fun at work! Is it another 8 hours again? As for me, if there was such a thing as procrastinator as a job, i'd be earning big bucks by now! But i'm doing what i'm supposed to have done anyway. Well take care Dreamweaver. Have a nice day =)

*Dream Weaver* said...

*Dear Angelus, Surprised that I found out so quickly? Well yeah.. kind of spoils the whole guessing game.. But no worries, nothing changes. =) What can I say, I am good at finding out stuff.. hehehee... (just kidding)
and by golly is has been a long long time since we have seen each other much less spoken. I do admit it was a surpirse to know it was you.. I guess maybe cos as you said we were never close. I am gonna add you on my MSN and will write more when I can.
Work yesterday was alright though I looked horribly tired, and I was horribly tired.. went out with my colleagues after work which wasn't a good idea but was a good way of bonding with them I guess.. got alittle bit pissed which is also not good as I had an early class and am really tired.. *sigh* Oh well, serves me right. I have to go now, have class later and I need to prepare stuff.. write me soon?
Have a blessed day =)

Anonymous said...

Dear Dreamweaver,

i find it funny that i still write in as 'Anonymous' despite having such an honourable new name =) And thanks for the name, i can't remember if i had already thanked you for the new name.

So here i am again, yet again =) I've spent the last half an hour waiting for a stable connection to get online and check if there's anything worth checking today. As always, there's always something for me to check out here in your little piece of heaven.

Hope the pounding in your head has stopped, maybe you should watch tv or listen to some music to cancel it out. Or you could try sleeping and hope you won't wake up with it =)

I've got a test tomorrow and i'm only gonna start after dinner, gonna take a nap once i'm done here. Can't wait for the break next week. Though i forsee that i'd be busy but knowing me, things'll probably be left aside till the last few moments. But nevertheless, it'll be done.

And you're welcome once again. This is refering to your thanks in your latest entry today. Hope you're doing better these days. Take it a step at a time and open your eyes while you're at it, there were probably many things that you've overlooked or didn't bother seeing back then. It's a beautiful world out there, despite all the rubbish that's going on. I only wish my i had a better working camera than what i have right now. Speaking of photos, why don't you drop by http://fahrenhite.multiply.com and check out my photo album. Let me know what you think as i do believe that you may have things to say about them. It's not much, nothing fantastic, just let me know what you think =)

Alright, i think i better be taking my nap soon before time runs out! hahaha Take care Dreamweaver, hope the pounding has stopped!

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