~ From an MSN chat room ~

* RedSugar * says:
NO... I don't want to be like that...

* RedSugar * says:
Don't you see?

* RedSugar * says:
I am tired of waiting for the arms of someone to hold me and comfort me, to cheer up my days, to hang out with me, to send me flowers, to make me feel special, to make me happy...

* RedSugar * says:
I just want to be able to stand alone and be happy of my own accord and not need someone to be the sole source of my happiness or the reason why I am the way I am, You understand?

* RedSugar * says:
Sure its great to have someone with you, to make your days seem brighter and everything seem so wonderful, to take you out on date nights, to make you smile when you are sad and etc...

* RedSugar * says:
But then when you think about it, nothing is for certain - I mean look at the numerous relationships that I have had.. all of them failed (sadly) and its not some game that I play. Its not all fun and games you know. It sucks when you put your heart on the line and it gets broken and trampled on along the way. (Sure this relationship that I have is great, but then who is to say that it will work out?)

* RedSugar * says:
I can't build my life on him, on a relationship that may or may not work out. Nothing can be guaranteed in life and I just want to be able to stand alone and need no one, so that if I fall, there will be no one to blame but myself and I will be able to heal better.. I want to be able to do things on my own, for my own self... To get back on my feet sooner because as I have learnt, a broken heart is no easy thing to mend I tell you.

* RedSugar * says:
You know what, I want to be independent to say I did it on my own. I don't want to sit up and wait for someone to call, or someone to be with me. I don't want to think where is he tonight? What is he doing? Who is he with? And get all paranoid and needy about it...

* RedSugar * says:
I am sick of needing people in that way, sick of needing something to fill up this empty spaces inside of me...

# RedSugar is still in the process of needing someone though this "Needy" sickness of hers lessens even as you read this...... Please pray for a speedy recovery or a cure!