Saturday, July 31, 2004

Where I belong ~

Last night or perhaps this morning, I felt strangely disorientated (and NO this was not solely because of the drinks I consumed - honest) and I felt like I was in some other land or county, one which in some ways I didn't belong in but wanted to in some ways...
It was one of those days where I bothered to wear heels, bothered to behave (grin).. I went out with a friend and we had fun chatting and playing pool and having some drinks. Then we met some other friends of mine in this bar and as time passed, I saw more and more people that I knew. Some whom I hadn't seen in years and was glad to see, others I wish I didn't see need to see at all. With the loud music thumping around me and the blinding bluish lights, I felt like I was truly in another place. A part of me wanted to stay and chill like those "happening" people on a Friday night and yet there was this part of me that craved the solitude of my room and the comfort of bed and soft comforters with a good book...
I guess I just am not sure where I belong. I feel like I am pulled in two different directions... to be continued... gonna hang with G...

This is me again.. I still feel slightly off tangent as I write this. I know that I do like the "Happening" life as I love to meet new people and to dance (however bad I dance, I still do like a little shimmy and shaking) BUT then I know that I can't be that person all the time. I am more the person you see alone reading a book at a bus stop or LRT station waiting for the feeder bus (thanks to Possum that wouldn't be often now - but with my new semester and Possums new sem, things may be different), shopping alone or watching a movie alone in the cinema (YES, I do that, I see nothing wrong with that except for perves sitting next to you or people throwing stuff at you during the movie - No, hasn't happened before but I have thought bout that!) I am not a loner, as most of you know I have friends (not many but enough) but I like doing things alone sometimes.. Not many people understand that and looks of pity can be seen crossing their faces when they ask me if I am alone and I reply yes.....
Oh well, there is no one that I need to justify this too, and I guess what my friend JIN says is true, I am happier now than I have been in a long time.. *grin* Well, have to go now.. see yous.. The Da Vinci Code is beckoning me.. its a great book though it is against alot of things that I believe in.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You belong wherever you belong, Joe. LOL....
Its kinda great to have both worlds.. but I guess we choose the ones that we want to be in... So keep hanging...
keep living the good life...
I guess....
Though I still feel you are happier now than before.. from the blogs that is... XD
JIN... Happy Blogging... end

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