Singapore here I come!!!

Ahhh... the horrible, stressful week is over. Finally!!!
The excitement in me has been building since I knew that I was going to Singapore and eventhough my parents can't make it, luckily Possum decided to go ahead with our plans. *Phew* So it would be and the Possum in Singapore Part 2. *smiles*

The photo is of me in one of the cafes on Orchard Road drinking a ice blended peppermint mocha... it was Yummm...
Did I tell you that I really like the city? Well I do...
Just got home from Peggys house to borrow books to read for the trip. Thanks Pegs... *hugs* you have to teach me how you wrap the books so neatly, yeah!
Hahaha... no more assignments to think about for about 4 days... hoorah!!!
Holidays... sweet...

To the malats, have a safe and happy trip in Camerons yeah?

Singapore here I come!!!

i HATE assignments

G just dropped me off after a long day. Slept at 6am this morning and had to wake up at 10am to complete my assignment. I decided to check my mails and guess what I got my results for my 2nd assignment and it was just SAD!!! I expected more, perhaps because I really did my best and really studied the given materials and was sure that I would get pretty decent grades... but alas I was wrong. It was SAD results... *sob sob*

I was trying to be optimistic and it was easy with G around. We had fun talking (just like old times) about contradictions in one's life and etc. Went to see YN and Vic at Federal Autos and then shot to Megamall. I noticed that the big drain outside Federal Autos smelt like Port Dickson... hehehe... At megamall G and I shopped. He bought stuff for the Camerons trip and I felt sad that I wasn't going to be there as I bet they are going to have a good time there... but I think mine will be better in Singapore... heheheh * grin * Oh... bought a night shirt with fairies and silver glittery *stars* on it as well as 'Crazy Fairy' written all over it... (so me!)

Still feeling upset about the results, but I gues there is nothing to do... but this sure does dishearten me. Well, I suppose theres always the next assignments - the horror! the horror!
Going to feed my Esio Trots now, bought the crab sticks... they are in for a treat. See yous...

My Four Ange|s

* Phew * What a relief the day is over. Today has been like an emotional rollercoaster (but its been happening a lot – so I guess it is expected) but today was the MAJOR twistery type which has the potential to make you hurl and wish you had never sat on the damn thing in the first place.

Right… what happened? Well the day started of well and I went for tutorials and was just thinking that I could take the 3 odd hours left to go blog something and reply those emails when… TAP! TAP! went the window of the little office we were sitting in. Thr door opens and W pokes his head and says…

“You got my email?”

“NO!” I say… “Why?”

“Oh… uhhh” (he stammers and shifts from right foot to left foot)
“Urmmm… uhhh… you are Barred from Social Psych!”

At this point I wanted to just smack him but then when I heard that my heart stopped beating for awhile as the words sunk in. BARRED! I am barred… All the while as the thoughts sank in my mind, W was going on and on about how he had sent it and he said the Stamford server was down and I must have not got it and etc.
F%&# couldn’t he have called to make sure I knew?

W proceeds to tell me that I can appeal. I have to get “valid” documentation before 2pm (time of my paper!) and then I can sit for the bloody paper. So I start panicking cos I obviously don’t have any documentation. So I go online and try to find AWAM’s number as I skipped one class to go for that camp last month so I thought they could email me something as proof… instead I came upon my first Angel… G. G said he would come and pick me up and send me home so I could search for “valid” documentation. So, home I went.

At home I hastily searched for something and found nothing (Story of my life!) … just an agenda for the day which was the only thing I had. So I proceeded to type a letter of appeal (at this point I was still scared – my folks would kill me if they knew I was barred!). While I was typing and cracking my head for something decent to right, I spoke to Tiny on MSN. He was so consoling and kind, reminding me that the sun would shine again and everything would be over in the end.

The Possum than called and I proceeded to tell him the news, whilst hysterically typing. He asked me to send him the finished letter (he is good with formal letters!) and he checked it and then emailed it back to me with the amendments. He then gave me some advice, wished me luck and gave me some kisses to sustain me on the journey.

At college, I rushed up to the office only to see Thomas there. I had tried calling Thomas as he knew about appeals and the like having been doing it since his first sem. He asked me what I was doing there and I said I got barred. He had a jolly laugh about it all the while saying “You got barred! OH my gawd!” I proceeded to give the letter to the person in charge and waited for the verdict. She came out with the letters in the hand and said

“This things are not valid enough. Cannotlah!”

DIE!!!

My heart stopped again… I looked as if I wanted to cry… I could feel the freaking tears welling up behind my eyelids. She must have seen that look, and then hastily said… “Kiddinglah! You can sit for your exam!” I felt relived and yet tired at the same time. But really THANK GOD… it was ok. I took the exam and finished it and met Thomas for a drink. We went to Starbucks and had a good long chat. After that, I went to TIMES bookshop and I bought 3 books. * Shakes head * I know… I tried… but they were on 25% off. That’s like huge! Anyways, yeah… so I went home and felt relieved.

The rest of the day saw me trying to finish my assignments though some really uncooperative people are making it really hard for me to do so. (blasted people really!) So, I had to think up new ways to do my work which is not easy as something’s cannot be faked and etc. Hard to explainlah! Anyways, went to the Possums house later in the night and watched “Guess Who!” and played Zuma. I LOVE the game.

Anyways, its like 2.39am and I have yet to start on my work. Tomorrow is going to be a long day. To the Angels of today, G, Tiny, Possum and Thomas… thank you all for all the help you have given me. Without you guys, it would have been a shittier more horrible day. *Hugs* Thanks again...

Tiny, I can see the sunshine... *smiles*

“Yeah Crazy!”

Bang! Bang! Goes my bed room door and the voice of my dad going

“YOU not sleeping yet ah? Crazy ahh?”

I reply “Yeah Crazy!”

But he can’t hear me for he has gone back to his room, back to his slumber.

Its late… almost 4am. I should be asleep (Ahhh… those ‘should be’s again!) as I have class tomorrow but I decided to stay up and get some work off my chest. Besides I think the roti canai and the teh ais limau, milo ais and porridge is keeping me awake. Now with almost half my work completed, I can look forward to the weekend which is the long labour day weekend. Hoorah!

Most of the malat peeps will be on their way to Camerons with the cool weather, the awesome yummy strawberries, fresh produce and beautiful flowers and I will be going across the border to Singapore. Haven’t planned out the whole trip yet, though it will include Serangoon Rangoon Road for Bak Kut Teh, which I have been craving for since November last year – total yums yums!!! Then there will be the hunt for Suzy’s Zoo and to stock up for scrapbooking supplies. Any orders anyone?

I can’t wait to go to Sinagpore again. Ahhh… the joy of it all. Hopefully this time it wouldn’t rain and we will get to perhaps have dessert at the promenade or have drinks at one of the trendier shops. A part of me though longs to go with the peeps up the hill, but I guess I have to miss out on it this time. Hopefully they will understand and not exclude me from their ritual mamak sessions and other outings (Hint! Hint!)

But before I even get to the weekend I have all this work to do… haih! Oh well, that’s life for you I suppose. Drudgery and working away and then fun fun fun! I would dearly love to sit with my laptop and a cup of coffee or tea and type long emails to my friends and if I have more time, a hand written letters which I haven’t done in a long time.

The damn mozzie is flitting around me, teasing me and mocking me. I hope to kill it before I sleep. Call me barbaric but they are just sickening things. Yeah I am crazy for wanting to kill those buggers but then again who loves them mozzies?

Well will write more when I can and for those that I owe emails to, 1001 apologies. Will be filling your inbox’s shortly.

Seeing you for the 1st Time

World Book Day...
Today is World Book Day. I woke up rather early for a weekend and decided to read my Chronicles of Narnia... its addictive I have to say *grin*, so far I have only gotten to chapter 4 for the first book as there were things that i had to do... and yes it was important... wouldn't part with the book if it wasn't. Anyways, the Possum brought me to a movie 'The Jacket' in 1Utama and to do "coupley things" today like going to Starbucks and we ended up later with a bottle of Black Label in RSC. Also he got me book since it was World Book Day. I now have the whole set of "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy"... Ahhh... books glorious books. Going to get 2 more before the end of the month which makes me break all my so called 'rules' of not buying any more books... hehehe... oh well, books are just wonderful. If you want to borrow any books, call me, aight?

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Finally We Are Face to Face
I love the view from here!

A strange happened today whilst the Possum and I were at RSC. For once in our lives we were honest with each other. It was difficult to swallow some of the things that we said to one another yet at the same time it was reassuring in its own way. Tonight we opened ourselves up and showed our true selves for once in our whole relationship.

For those of you who know me well, you would know that I have entertained the idea of a breakup with the Possum, but never really materialized because honestly I couldn't. I loved him to much that regardless of what stunt he pulled or whatever happened, I knew why and what would happen. Its scary but I can predict everything that happens in his life and I understand the things he does and why he does them and I accept them because I know the whole logic behind it. It may seem strange for some of you, and you may not understand... don’t' blame you all for that too... you just have to be me for awhile and you will know.

I know now that I truly love this Possum. Putting up with ones shite is hard but actually understanding it is a whole different story. Some of you might think that I am just settling for less, or I am just 'accepting' things and have this blindfold over my eyes, but you just need to know what I know and feel the things that I feel.

From the whole conversation that night, I realized that the Possum and I are more alike that I let on and this is something that is not planned nor is it forced "sameness". On the surface we are as different as night and day (even our skin colour is such); the thing is you don't need to dig deep to see that we are almost the same. We are both from different poles in the world, one north and one south, yet we both are connected, there is a straight line in between us and we meet at many points... that’s me and the Possum. I need him and he needs me too and even though there will no doubt be more times in the future when we both feel like calling it quits, we would still hold on.

The future and life is very big from where I stand... I feel so small. I am afraid of what life will throw at me and I am not sure what will happen. We might breakup one day or we might even go the distance, but right now with him at my side, I feel better... I feel as if I am not alone. To love and to be loved is a wonderful feeling, but to love and be face to face, heart to heart and soul to soul with the one you love is even better.

* I Love You Possum Raccoon Boy *

Ultimate Objectives

After many honey fairy cakes and buzzes to the real world, I sit here in a daze, confused as to what to do. I am facing a couple of problems such as:

1. I might be barred from my social psych paper due to poor attendance.
2. I might get really shitty grades as I have not studied (don't really care actually!)
3. I don't know if I can finish all my assignments on time!
4. I don't feel really motivated to do anything.
5. I know what I want but I don't know how to get it.
6. I know what I don't want and I can't get rid of the things that I dont' want.
7. I have a back problem and am afriad of seeing the doc.

There are many other problems which seem to silly to mention. Actually, they are silly... you might think it is silly and I may well think that yours are silly too. Well yeah... so it goes...

"Success doesn't mean the absense of failures; it means the attainment of ultimate objectives. It means winning the war, not every battle." - Edwin C. Bliss

What are my ultimate objectives? I don't really know myself. I am the sort of person who wants to win every battle and with each battle that I undertake I kill bits of myself. So, in the end if I do win the war, would it have been a worthwhile thing? Would I enjoy what I have worked and fought for or would it just be something... another trophy on the shelf, another certificate on the wall or just pride in my heart.

I am confused these days. No one seems to understand and I doubt that they can. Calling friends doesn't really help for they dont' understand. SMSed a person a couple of times, I thought that person would understand, but that person has his/her own battles to fight and I have no presence in his life.

What gets me through the day? I am not sure. I guess seeing my things, feeling like I did something right or perhaps made someone happy even at my own expense is enough ... for now. But I am not sure how long this will last.

"Push me and see how far I can go."

The little girl said this to her mum. So her mum pushed her hard on the swings. She swung high up in the air and she thought she could touch the branches of the trees. She was frightened, but that melted away when she felt the thrill and rush of the wind. She felt that she could fly... she didn't fall. She was free for awhile.

I need to find out what my ultimate objectives are. I am still sailing unsure of where I am going. It seems to others that I have everything sorted out well... but alas if they only knew this befuddled brain and this weeping heart inside. Maybe they do see it all, they are just afriad to see it and tell me so. Going to go look for them ultimate objectives... anyone know the way?

My fairy tale ending

Paint me a picture
Sing me song
Write me a sonnet
Make music on the gong

Sway me around
Cook me a meal
Send me a rose
Show me what’s real

Lift up my mask
Dry up my tears
Give me a smile
Drive away my fears

Save me my prince
Slay dragons all around
Kiss me on my lips
Sweep me of the ground

Please come rescue me
The time is a ticking
Patiently I have been waiting
For a fairy tale ending

No time to post... sigh...

This is just sad... really sad... I have had no time to blog.
I have written several posts which are all waiting in the laptop to be posted and I have no time. *sniff* I miss my writing... the real sort of writing... not the idiotic Attitude Inoculation theory type thingys... arghhh...
OK... have to focus... only 9 more to go... only 9 more to go... only 9 more to go...

*I incidentally look like this dear old bunny rabbit... bad hair and feeling super manja...