Sunday, December 25, 2011

Christmas 2011 ~ a real post

Happy blessed Christmas all...

I finally have sometime to sit down and be enveloped in Christmas.
Some time to just think and let my thoughts wonder.
I know the theme songs for the season should be Christmas carols and such and surprisingly this year I have not indulged in them too much {but there is always another 12 days to indulge} but instead have taken to listening to the OST to 'Breaking Dawn'... I know right? Wth!!! But its surprisingly good. Am listening to the track titled 'Love Death Birth' and it is beautiful. No words. Just music. Magic.The house is quiet. The wind is stirring around the house and I am a little hungry but have stuffed my face with chocolate chip cookies {my breakfast} while waiting for something more substantial for lunch. 

Each year, I count down till Christmas. Each year, I hope for more magic and for the perfect Christmas celebration with all the pretty trimmings, trees and company... but it has taken me 29 years to realise that there is no perfect Christmas that the world can offer. The presents, the wrapping, the decorations, the food, the music and movies are all pretty and add to the festive mood but in actual fact, Christmas does happen in your heart. It happens when you are not looking. When are you aren't listening and when you are not prepared. 

It creeps up to you and washes over you leaving you with joy and peace... for today is born in the City of David a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. 

This is my last Christmas as a twenty-something and as a single women. This year is the last year I wake up on Christmas morning in my own bed looking at the raspberry walls and Disney jigsaw puzzle. I have mixed feelings. Excitement for the new beginnings to come and yet melancholic for these simpler times with my family. So this year, Christmas is all about family. We have lined up dinners and parties at my relatives places. Its going to be reflective when I get moments alone but mostly filled with laughter when I am around my family. Had a Starbucks session with Cat {my old bestie}, her husband, Drama Dave, Jo & Rachel and of course B. The conversation was kinda skewed to babies, birthing, weddings and paint... but I enjoyed hanging out with them. Perhaps this can be one of our traditions *smiles smiles smiles*

Speaking of traditions and me lamenting {nearly every year about the lack of it}, I realised that I have managed to retain one tradition for many years, that being the Midnight Mass. This year's mass was beautiful. The church was decked out in pretty Christmas decorations, the crib was done up well by the Philippino community, whole mass was orchestrated so well and the music was magical! There wasn't much shopping done this year either {the shopping malls I felt were not decorated to their utmost best as well... I believe Pavilion takes the cake for super awesome decorations} and not many presents received this year and for once in my life, I am okay with that. There is more to Christmas presents. Seriously. Though being human I love the trimmings and wrapping *smiles* 

And you know what, there is always room to make more traditions in the coming years and I should just enjoy the now, the moment. And you know what, the Christmases to come will be awesome because I will be married and we will have a new addition to the family {and God willing more additions to come as well to our lives and to our friends lives as well}! *smiles smiles* so there is something to look forward to. If you are curious, read a little snippet of  one of my Christmas past here.

And you know what, it has been like nine years, the memories don't quite dim. There is still an empty cavity in my heart where you belong. I had a moment where I allowed myself to imagine and it made me smile, a smile tinged with sorrow, with hope. 

Okay my folks are back and lunch is beckoning. I wish all of you a blessed and happy Christmas! May all your wishes, hopes, dreams and prayers come true this year and every year to come. I pray that you will have many memories and traditions to collect this year to carry you through the New Year which is just around the corner... memories that will keep you warm and fuzzy and make you smile to yourself on days when you just want to crawl under the sheets and die {yes, I am being drama!}. 

So anyways, happy blessed New Year *hugs hugs*

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