Tuesday, October 05, 2010

Endless possibilities


I believe there are endless possibilities out there, 
or even right under your nose...
These possibilities are very much like adventure books where you are
allowed to choose your own ending. 
One tiny setback, I just need to know where, when and how 
to finally finally make this possibilities a reality.


The Right Help

Today's devotional really helped calm my restless soul.
http://odb.org/2010/10/05/the-right-help/


An excerpt from the devotional:
In Psalm 18:6, he affirmed, “In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried out to my God; He heard my voice from His temple, and my cry came before Him, even to His ears.” There is no greater help in our time of need than God. He alone can carry us through the trials and crises of life, and we have His word that He will never leave us nor forsake us (Heb. 13:5).

DW wonders

I should be asleep. Its a working day. A busy day. I need heaps of coffee day.


But although I am tired, the words are coming to me. And since the words don't knock on my day often these days, I decided to write.


This post isn't going to show off whatever writing skills I have (or lack)... its jut a post about my recent (and even not so recent) wonderings...


So...
I wonder...


I wonder why the words have stopped coming to me like they used to. I miss the way I could put my fingers on the keyboard and my fingers would start flying across the keyboard, having a life of their own. I miss seeing my name/byline each time a poem or article of mine was published. 


I wonder when I will finally get down to all the projects that I have lined up. The ones that I promised I would write in another blog post. The projects that I have invested $ into. The projects that I talk about, dream about and wish for.


I wonder why at times somethings bother me and at times it doesn't. I would like to be consistent but I have no clue how.


I wonder when I would be able to forgive easier, accept easier and let go easier. I welcome this day with open arms but fear that the day will never come.


I wonder why I feel so small and insignificant sometimes and at other times I think I am a rock star. There are moments when I feel like crawling under my sheets and not coming out, loving the snugness and comfort of my blankets around me, hiding me, shielding me, comforting me.


I wonder what it would feel like leaving home and moving in with someone for the rest of your life. Opening your eyes and seeing someone beside you instead of your work table or chest full of books and your knick knacks and crumbly curling posters of long forgotten movie stars on your built in closet...


I wonder why its so difficult to prioritize, to manage time wisely, to unprocrastinate.


I wonder why I have to cuss and swear so much.


I wonder if God looks at me and shakes His head looking puzzled and disappointed at the person I am at times.


I wonder if I inhale everyone's ciggie smoke for more than 9 years, would that increase the possibilities of getting a horrible life threatening and disease and if yes, what do I do about it...


I wonder why I sometimes wish I could just pack up my bag and leave without a "hello" or "goodbye".


I wonder why the traffic jams are getting worse and why no one is doing anything about it.


I wonder what it would be like to have all your wishes, fairy tale endings and dreams come true. Would you feel happy and content finally or would there always be something missing, something that you are still searching for, that you yearn for.


I wonder if the shoe doesn't quite fit, if it has a small flaw of sorts with it, do you just not buy the shoe or do you buy the shoe anyways, flaws and all. Then again you wonder if you had bought the flawed shoe, would it in the end cause you more problems and grief then if you had decided not to buy the shoe in the first place.


I wonder how others would feel if they could just touch me and feel the feelings that I feel, this storehouse of emotions that I keep with me - sorta like an osmosis process. Would it be easier if everyone knew a 100% what the others truly felt?


I wonder why I sometimes talk in circles, harping over the same things that bug me over and over again and moan and groan and wish these things would sought themselves out when I know that it would probably be a never.


I wonder how I became the person I am today. I blame everything on the bad metabolism.


I wonder if Belly knows how much I love her and how much I think she is one of the bestest things that has ever happened to me.


I wonder why everyone's values are so different. Why some people are okay with this and how others are not... and most importantly, I wonder how to accept another's values if they are not the ones that you practice.


I wonder how I would be remembered when I leave this world.


I wonder why I keep torturing myself by looking at those blogs, those websites, those pages. 


I wonder when I will have enough $ to travel to Greece, to London, to the happiest place on earth, Disneyland, to other parts of Europe, to see Temora again...


I wonder why some peoples words and actions don't quite jive or if I am just reading too much into things and making up stories in my head.


I wonder what-ifs every now and then and torture myself with the endless possibilities. It's tiring and makes for a good pity party for one.


I wonder when it would be my turn...


I wonder if anyone reading this would be able to understand or feel the turmoil in my mind and heart.


I wonder...
I wonder...
I wonder...

Sunday, October 03, 2010

Goodbye Weekend

Shopping is tiring!


I spent about 4 hours with B shopping @ the Curve and my feet and back hurt now. Gah! I feels like an old lady!!! Anyways, the shopping trip was quite successful but it was just a little disappointing to not be able to find a pair of shorts that suited me. Some were too tight, too loose, too too short, too expensive or not just right. I swear some of the clothes are labelled wrongly. Their L size is like an S or and M.... or maybe the store catered mainly to model-est, slim, petite type people - bah hum bug!


Anyway, this post is not so much about shopping or how tiring it is or how I am seriously tired from the lack of sleep - 7 hours in two days is really not a lot of sleep time on for a weekend. The post instead is about saying "Goodbye to the Weekend". 


I usually update my journal/diary my weekend - what I did, where I went and etc. but for the last month or so I have slackened and find that I have pockets of lost memories which is really a shame. Anyways, this morning as I played with Belly in the morning, I suddenly felt inspired to do heaps of projects which have been pending. Sadly, as you may have already guessed, I did not start on any of the projects- yes, I am a procrastinator   though I am trying hard to be rid of this awful habit -and this 'inspirational' feeling slipped through my fingers like the seconds that ticked by this weekend. 


Its always a sad affair when Sunday evening rolls by and you realise that you have a couple more hours left before the weekend officially ends and this week is no exception. The coming week at work is jammed with work but I just want to get this Wednesday (Big event folks - pray for me!) over with so that I can move on with my other work. I also feel guilty that I did not go to church. I woke up and etc. but then my whole family
felt sluggish and didn't go in the morning and as you have probably read, I went shopping in the evening. So, yes... guilt. I hate that feeling.




* Flowers my dad grew in our home - they are so beautiful



Anyways, in my next post, I will be sharing some of projects that I am working on  thinking of staring... so that post would be quite interesting as it acts as a reminder for me to get my act in order. So, dear readers,
its just 5 days more will the weekend, so yay! Here's hoping that you will have a blessed and happy week ahead. God bless.

P.S: Belly is curled up in her cage and sleeping soundly. The poor girl had a really long day.
P.P.S: Detoxing is a pain but a necessary one.

Planning + Daydreaming



For most of yesterday and today morning, I have been going through numerous saved links on Bali touristy sites for my upcoming trip to Bali. Planning an itinerary is no easy feat especially when you want to:
a) cram as much things you want to see/visit into the trip
b) ensure that while on said holiday you are not tired out and stressed 
c) need to ensure good time management


So, yes. I have been busy looking not only for touristy sites but preparing a rough itinerary for the whole trip. This includes, the daily activities, possible spa venues, good food spots and of course some shopping places. I also sourced for tour guides and am waiting for two to get back to me. The quote recieved so far is very reasonable, so am quite pleased. Will hopefully select a guide by mid-week.




This trip is something that I have been looking forward to for ages and ages. It has always been one of my "have to visit destinations" and finally I will be going *woot woot* Thank you God. We will be staying in Ubud and Seminyak so that we will be able to enjoy the different environment that each location brings. 


Will be going shortly to buy more stuff for the trip. One of my big splurges for the trip is a pair of sunnies - my very first pair that has powered lenses *yipee* Have also bought an additional camera battery and memory card, a swimsuit thingy, a couple of tops and sun screen. This trip, I am promising myself that I will pack in advance so that I don't scramble at the last minute. It's uber stressful to pack at the last minute. 


Anyways, B is on his way and we will be heading to the Curve shopping centre for an afternoon of shopping! *grin grin* Do look out for my posts on Bali later on in the month. Am hoping to be able to take many good photos and have a really relaxing and enjoyable holiday. Thank you God for making all this possible.


*Photos taken from Google images.

Monday, September 27, 2010

A lunchtime post

Its lunchtime and since B is not in the office, I thought I would catch up on some work and have a cup of instant noodles (expired - big surprise there!). So there I was typing up emails and playing operator (I don't get why people bother calling during lunch time),when I decided that I needed some inspiration to get me through this uber long day and promptly began surfing my favourite sites.


And yes, i feel much better ... a big thank you to these bloggers who share so much of their life that at times I feel like packing a suitcase and knocking on their doors and wishing that they would let me live with them for awhile so that I can be a better blogger, a better domestic goddess (I am still no where near that! Egad!!), a better scrapbooker/art crafter and etc. But alas, I can't since I need to sit here in this freezing box of an office replying to stupid emails, speaking to rude people calling during lunch break and trying to calm myself down into some zen-like mode for my 3 events tomorrow.


I shall not moan or grumble too much. So, instead I shall leave you with 3 things I am grateful for today:
1) There was enough toilet roll in the loo this morning
2) There seems to be less ants roaming around my desk today
3) I get to buy new flip flops since Belle bit the right side of my black ones this morning


*huhuhuhuhuhu*



I can't recall where I got this image (or the 200 or so images I randomly save on my PC - so sorry!), but doesn't this setting just invoke feelings of peace, comfort and security? I can so so so imagine myself lying on this comfy sunlit bed reading a book whilst munching on some chocolate chip macadamia cookies from Famous Amos (my all time favourite cookie).

Anywhos, I best get back to work. It's nice blogging during lunch. Perhaps I shall do th is more often... or not... *snickers* Hope all of you have an awesome week ahead. Its only 4 1/2 days till the weekend after all.

P.S: Pray that my events go well tomorrow, k?


Saturday, September 25, 2010

Being Remembered

Yesterday I organised the second PR Managers Community Network gathering for the Group PR and Communications Managers. The theme for the gathering this time round was Corporate Identity and Branding, a topic which I had actually wanted to study as a second degree.

In the PR2U session, a session where we plan to have external speakers share about a certain topic, I invited my old lecturer Mr L.C to give a presentation about branding as he is one of the branding gurus in Malaysia. 

Mr L.C and I go way back in my IACT days, of which I have never blogged about since blogging was not "in" at that time. In IACT, where I studied mass communications, marketing and advertising (it was a really general diploma), I was blessed to be under the guidance of several good lecturers, the best being Mr L.C who thought me about branding, campaign planning and copy writing I believe. 

I remember days when he would ask me questions when he knew I was either:
a) half asleep 
b) talking to my friends
c) trying to finish my home work
d) daydreaming

At times like this, I wore my 'deer-in-the-headlights' look and quickly blurted out something (sometimes it was right sometimes, totally helpless wrong!) and tried to look as if I really knew what I was mumbling. He would laugh at times and say it was a "good try" and sometimes he would just give me a haughty look and turn his face away from me and say 'moving along...' Needless to say the classroom would erupt into laughter when he said that.

Now even though I 'occasionally' disrupted the class or feel asleep or daydreamed, I really loved what I studied and it came naturally to me. There was no need to really study per se. I found it easier to learn by case studies and examples of which he has plenty of. I was always eager to debate or question him about things when I was awake and fully functioning and it was always interesting and informative to hear his retorts and explanations. 

So yes, I believe I was one of Mr L.C's fav students and this was affirmed by him yesterday *woot woot* and as Mr L.C continued telling my colleagues about his teaching days and how I was a good student and how it would be pleasure to mark my exam papers as he had memorized my ID number,  I was struck by how much he remembered about me. He asked me about what I had done after getting my diploma and if I had gone to USM or if I had succeeded in going to Australia. I had actually forgotten about this plan of mine to go to USM since I could not afford to go to Aussie. After all this time he remembered...

I have to say the feeling of being remembered was like a 'high' of sorts. I felt happy that someone remembered me. Some of you might think it sad that I could be this jubilant about something as trivial as this, but in a world where I get few affirmations, this is like a refreshing drink of cool spring water.

So yea... thanks Mr L.C for remembering. For being a good lecturer and for giving a super presentation yesterday - all of us learnt a lot. And you know what, as Mr L.C spoke, it was like being in IACT again in one of his classes and I felt happy. The feeling of wanting to pursue my studies coursed through me again and well... who knows... perhaps I will one day soon though for the moment, I will start with some of the branding books that I have bought.

Although it was a long long long day, it was a good one. Mr L.C, I hope we meet again soon. I thanked God for having you in my life as a lecturer and a friend.


Friday, September 24, 2010

She stole my heart



Belle stole my heart form the moment B and I saw her in the pet store and now, almost 5 months down the road, every time I see her little face, my heart melts. I love Belly so much and am amazed that I the once upon a time dog hater could love a dog this much.

Thank you God for bringing Belle into our lives 
and for this wonderful experience of having a pet.

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