The Harder Path

There are times,
very much like how it is now,
when I wish
that I didn't have
to feel,
to care,
to dream,
to wish,
to want,
to accept,
to hope,
to achieve,
to seek,
to need.

It would be nice,
I imagine to not have to bother
about the consequences,
about the people,
their actions,
their words,
their broken truths,
their broken dreams,
their sharp words,
their empty promises,
their disapproval,
their rejection,
their judgments,
their feelings,
their thoughts,
their lies,
the shadows,
the sounds,
the nightmares.

It would be
easier,
less painful,
to be able to
disengage,
untangle,
emancipate,
forget,
release,
let go...
instead of
holding on,
biting my tongue,
crossing my fingers,
being patient,
suffering in silence,
tolerating,
hoping,
praying,
writing my own happy endings.

--------
But this is me...
choosing the harder path,
the more difficult route.