Office moans

A thousand thoughts run helter-skelter in my mind but my mind is closed for the day. After all it is already 10:39pm and I should really be in bed, tucked up underneath my comforter either pouring over my books or talking to Sunshine about my day.

Yet I am still here in the office.

Yes... I am still here.

I don't quite know why I am here... I should be at home. But works dictates that I sit here and finish all the work that has been thrown/dumped/given to me. True it is my job but I honestly don't quite know my own jobscope (Note to self: Find out jobscope!).

I am not thinking clearly as well... and yet I am thinking clearly. My mind again races with all these different conflicting thoughts and I would very much just like to have a warm shower, get out of my work clothes (which to some people look really aunt-ish) and just have a good sleep till tomorrow, at 6:30am when I wake up and the same routine starts again.

I can't believe it will be only 2 weeks since I started working again. It feels like months. My body is yelling at me to slow down. My parents and friends think I am mad for working so late... but I guess this is life. You want the $, you best keep quiet and keep your head low.

I hate to be paranoid, but I hear sounds and there is no one around.

I just want to go home...

*save me please?

*hugsss needed*

I need a holiday already!

*hugsss needed*

Fragility of Life

It's now 10:13am. I have been awake since 5.50am.
The sun is out. The smoke has cleared but I can't sleep.
It's like the fire never happened...

~*~*~*~

Thick clouds of smoke with specks of what seemed like iridescent orange flecks greeted me when I stepped out of my home. The acrid smell of something burning hit me next.

It was about 6am when I joined my other neighbours on the street. The fire had apparently started just ten minutes ago. Neighbours I had not even seen before, but had only caught glimpses of, were huddled d in groups talking and no doubtly praying that it was not their home that was in this dire condition.

A lone fire brigade was trying to ease the flames that seemed to be spreading. Already two houses were on fire. Flames licked the roofs and poured out from windows. The police were also milling around trying to get statements and answer queries. I felt strange. I felt that I was on a set of a movie or TV show rather than in my rather quiet and peaceful Damansara neighbourhood.

I heard snippets from my neighbours as they began to recount how the fire began. Some gave their two cents about what should have been done. Complaints poured forth as well concerning certain parties that were inefficient. The fire of this magnitude should have prompted another fire brigade to come they said.

About more than half an hour later, a second fire brigade arrived and house number three had already started to burn. Tempers flared while the flames were put to rest. Why did the second fire brigade number arrive so late? Why were the authorities so laid back and unconcerned? Why did the firemen take so long to even get the hose out? Questions abounded, yet were left unanswered.

I was standing alone. The air was thankfully still with only the slightest breeze. I was suddenly hit by a sadness, which I don’t quite know how to explain. Thoughts raced through my mind. How could this happen here, in my neighbourhood? How must the owners of the home feel now that they had lost their homes? What would I have done if this had happened closer to my home? Could more have been done to help contain the fire?

An hour had passed since I had arisen and in that span of time, the lives of three families had changed. When I reached home, I crawled back into the safe confines of my bed but could not sleep. I thought most about the fragility of things, about the unpredictability of fate, about the untameable elements of nature.

My mind remembered the numerous catastrophes faced all over the world. The tragic heartbreak of lost, of death, of senseless wars, murders, rape and kidnappings and I felt an overwhelming sadness followed by the feeling of powerless. I felt scared too.

Good grades, degrees and a good job do not protect you from these unforeseeable things I realised. The amount of money you have in the bank, or the sort of bag you carry, the clothes you wear or the type of car you drive doesn’t exclude you from these tragedies in life.

I tossed and turned in bed and I prayed. I prayed for the families that had lost their homes and most importantly for their lost memories. I realised also how truly blessed I was that I had a wonderful family, a roof over my head and clothes on my back, food on my table and so much more. I had to right to complain about not having enough… I had more than so many others.

Life in my neighbourhood continued soon after. People walked around the park, went to church, went for breakfast, went to the market. Life was back to normal for most of us. How easily we forget. How fast we move on, worrying once more about the minute things in life like what we would eat for breakfast.

I take this moment however, to say a little prayer for the people who have been hit by tragedies. I pray for those whose hearts are restless, whose lives are for now, incomplete. I pray that they find peace and solace in their lives again. I pray for Angels amongst them to help them in their times of need. I pray that they will be able to rebuild their lives again. I hope to live each day now, knowing how blessed I truly am.

Another New Adventure!

I started a new adventure today.

I accepted Job #1.

I was praying to God yesterday and

asked Him to show me which path to take

and He did... its Job #1.

There is a possibility that I read the signs wrong...

But I trust in God and in myself

that Job #1 is the right job for me

at this current juncture in life.

So Congratulations me!

I have a new job and am employed now.

*hoorah hoorah*

Thus begins another new adventure for me!

~*~*~*~

I also went to Pavillion today.

The place was alright.

Nothing too great.

I liked the layout of Tangs and what I saw of Parkson looked nice as well.

But the price tags were such a turn-off.

TIMES bookshop was pretty good...

but the arts and crafts section was lacking.

I could not help but buy some books - 3 for the price of 2 -

(it's hard to resist NOT buying books!)

Had a quiet lunch with my SB magazine @ PizzaMania

and suddenly I saw BryBry.

It was nice to see him and his friends and we hung out for abit

before we headed back to Bangsar where they went back to work

and I went home with my bro.

Later, Sunshine and I decided to see a movie.

So we went to Cineleisure

and stuffed ourseleves with cinema food

and snuggled into our seats to watch

"The Seeker: The Darkness Is Rising".

The show did not meet up to expectations sadly...

And now I am here.

Facebooking, Blogging and looking at trailers.

*smiles smiles*

I will miss these carefree days.

My Bang.Kok Photos

Finally I have posted up my Bang.Kok photos...

Enjoy!

To view the pics, just click on the links below:

Bang.Kok (Part I)
Bang.Kok (Part II)
Bang.Kok (Part III)

Job#1 or Job #2 ?

I can't believe that time has flown by so quickly (I say this a lot).

From my first 'full time' job at the hovel, to quitting (YES!),

to having a slightly stressed but good holiday in Bang.Kok,

to working as a freelance writer (and enjoying the lovely benefits),

to finally deciding on my new job (have made up 90% of my mind!).

There are some doubts darting around in my mind...

about this job (Job #1) that I most probably will be taking.

I am not sure if this is the right path to take.

I am up for the challenge really,

though th only thing is that I hate the distance.

I will be working in the heart of KL and I hate KL!

I will now face the LRT jams, the crowds and

the dreaded traffic jams.

Howver, there is another option... Job #2.

Job #2 has lesser pay and the job position is lower than my previous job.

But there are two redeeming good points.

It's in MidValley (nearer than KLCC and there is a good transport system nearby)

and it's global PR consultancy.

CHOICES!

CHOICES!

*Dream Weaver is momentarily lost in her thoughts*

I really don't know how to weight these options.

To be honest, both Job #1 & #2 differ from what I used to do and

after doing several lists, Job #1 comes out tops...

but I am scared of making a mistake.

I am not sure if this is the path that God wants me to take.

But then again... it seems as if He is preparing a path for me...

or so that's how I see it anyways.

From learning about the job, to getting there,

to getting the package that I hoped for... I got it all.

Yet I am still thinking...

thinking if I am making the right move.

I will have to make up my mind by tomorrow (later today actually!).

Pray for me and wish me luck that I make the right decision.

Desiderata ~ Max Ehrmann

Desiderata

Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,

and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,

be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant;

they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons;

they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,

you may become vain or bitter,

for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;

it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,

for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;

many persons strive for high ideals,

and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.

Especially do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love,

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,

it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,

gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,

be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,

whatever you conceive Him to be.

And whatever your labors and aspirations,

in the noisy confusion of life,

keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

~*~*~*~

I loved this poem and have always wanted to put in on my blog but never got around to doing it until today. There is so much truth in this poem. I think that this poem and Baz Luhrmann - Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen), song have really powerful words.

Words that ring true to me. It's hard no doubt to live out what is written, but I guess that is the challenge for us all today... and I think I will be trying these things out. After all, Max is right, it is still a beautiful world out there and by God's grace, everything will fall into place.

I Miss You...

Eventhough I just saw you afew hours ago

and even if I see you almost everyday...

I still miss you when I am not with you.

Its cloudy days without you.

*sniff sniff*

I miss you Sunshine.