It Is Real

In less than 24 hours, life has changed for me.
I feel abandoned.
I feel a lost.
I feel kicked out of my nest.
I feel like I landed on my bum.
I feel as if this is a prank some numbskull thought up.
But it is not so.
It is real.

I can't deny the fact that the news affected me more than I could ever imagine. In some ways the news doesn't come as a surprise but then again, I am a wishful thinker and am a little bit too idealistic at the best of times so when the words were uttered, well I was in denial for awhile and then I began to panic and then the strange pain began to settle in. The pain is still there.

What kind of pain you ask? Well its akin to that of being dumped. Of having your heart broken and you have no clue why it had to happened to very suddenly.

I dragged my feet and sulked the better part of the evening and although more than 6 hours has passed, I still feel the strange pain.

Through this pain and shock and panic... there lies actually several seeds of hope, excitement and adventure. After all, things will invariably change now. It truly will be a new beginning of sorts. The pained part of me just wants to sit in a corner and lick my wounds and weep like a sad poor child, but then there is this other part of me that is already in motioned, set to tackle the new things to come... that wants to know the whys, the hows, the whens and a whole host of questions. This side of me is also planning and thinking if its time to make "the move".

There is much to think about. The pros, the cons, the maybes, what-ifs, could be, wants and don't wants and bla bla bla to tackle but in a strangely sad and euphoric way, I think this new journey is just what I need.