See You Soon Ah Gee!

Before the sun rose, we bundled into our respective cars and drove the long way to KLIA - the day was finally here. When we arrived there we waited and waited for the inevitable moment to say "see you again" whilst I stuffed my face with hash browns and tried to think only of Happy Thoughts so that when the inevitable happened I would not shed any tears.

After the too-short breakfast, we stood in a swirly line waiting for our last hug from G and for awhile I thought the tears would come when he put his arms around me but they didn't. Yes... numbness feels good I thought to myself - maybe I should be numb more often. I saw tears fall from other eyes and I looked away, afraid that my teat ducts would betray me like they tend to do at these sad and confusing moments. I walked with Spongy and YN furthur away to see G whilst he lined up and we waited for him in the long corridor which would take him away from us. I don't think he saw me though I wished he had because I already missed that sepet eyes and generous wonderful smile of his...

It was time to go and as G walked resolutely to his new future, I walked back to mine. It struck me then that things had already started to change the moment he stepped onto that escalator and try as I might my eyes pooled with tears. Thank God no one is around I thought, but Wolfie was around and saw the tears. Tears which shouldnt have been there because this was a happy occasion was it not???

At home, I tossed and turned in bed dreaming strange dreams with no real meaning and I woke up feeling more tired then ever. My heart feels strangely empty and echo-ey. How will the days be like now without G around I wonder. And tears start pooling in my eyes again and I swipe at them but they kept on flowing. Happy Thoughts... thats what I need... just Happy Thoughts for what I really want can't be gotten at the moment.

Regardless of it all, I wish you G, all the best and I hope that you will have a marvellous time there. You will be missed. I am waiting for you to come back, Ah Gee... I still have to whoop your arse in bowling *hugsss* We will see you soon...