Last n|ght ~~*

Last night I felt like talking to someone…
Anyone…

So I took out my trusty hand phone and scrolled down my phonebook…

Pass the A’s, B’s, C’s, D's, E's ...…

and the more I scrolled,

the more I felt this deep pain in my heart

like someone was squeezing it with a fist.

My throat felt dry and

my eyes starting getting blurry with unshed tears.

When I reached the last name,

I realized that there was no one I could call.

No one who I could talk to about the things

that went through my mind at that moment.

How sad…
So many names, so many faces, so many memories…
but no one to really call to talk to, no one to reassure me one more time. Perhaps I drove people away with my strange ways, maybe I have not been a good friend as well… maybe that’s why when I reach the end of the phonebook, there is still no one I can call.

So, I took out my pen and did what I should have done earlier…
I wrote and I wrote and wrote some more until my wrist ached,
and my fingers ached from gripping the pen and my eyes hurt from the tears that fell, and finally, my heart was empty of emotions and my mind from all thoughts and worries.

And its enough for now…

I close my diary with the sticker of a silver tree in winter on it and turn of the lights, close my eyes and pray for peace and for unfulfilled dreams and faith that in time, things will be better.