To say that life has not changed or that it has changed too much would be a an over-exaggeration. But it has changed some...
Most importantly I guess would be the fact that I am writing this post in my new home, in my new room, on my new bed with B snoring beside me {ok, that't not quite new}... but this is new... writing in bed in a new room in a new house... {more on this one day soonish I hope}.
I am listening to Coldplay's "Atlas" and am daydreaming in my mind of floating in space, of dancing in the sky, dancing under the stars, catching falling stars, riding on the wings of the wind... something magical, some grand adventure. I am not making much sense I guess but its just a feeling I have... to want to be weightless, to drift with the wind into the sky to play among the stars in the black velveteen night... to escape from the pressures of work, of expectations, of failings, of trying... and I am remembering Angel, Dane and Adam and missing them for some strange reason.
It's just been a long few months and I am lamenting the passing of Christmas and the days that seem to end so very quickly without me having done the things I really want to do. I also have been wondering about what I am doing, if what I am doing is really right for me, if I really meant to do the things I am doing now... Perhaps I am being just being morbid and over pensive as I sometimes get but I really wonder if its all worth it... its a vicious cycle. Needing to work to earn to pay for the things you want.... a never ending cycle.
Though this post seems a tad "meh" even melancholy, I have so much to look forward to... its a mixture of joy and of worry and of expecting too much of myself and not handling stress and things well. But I am working on it... trying to iron out the tough bits and be better with work and stuff... and oh the joyful bits... there are so many ideas bubbling away. I am excited and nervous and worried {yes, I tend to worry a wee bit too much}, but I know that I should commit everything to the Lord and go ahead and trust Him that He will guide me on the right paths *smile* okay... enough of writing. Am going to do some research on tablets... I fancy getting one for myself, a proper one instead of a RM200 one that sucks *snickers*... see I do learn.
Good night. Sweet dreams.
