Anxiety attack

Once again there are so many thoughts wafting around in my head.
The long weekend is almost at a close and I honestly wonder how time has passed so quickly. My good intentions of going to church camp did not happen. My hopes to clean my room, organise my mess and finally get rid of things that I no longer want or need and of hanging out more with my folks has not happened and I am riddled with guilt.

Towards evening, I somehow had an anxiety attack brought on by the realisation that there is work tomorrow and that in about a months time, all that I have worked for will reach its pinacle. I am at once afraid and excited. I think about the work that I have done and that is waiting to be done and it sickens me. I feel physically sick and I get all upset on my head and my heart feels tight, kinda hard to breathe. This is not the first time that I have had it but its the first that I have had that lasts longer than 15 minutes... *sniffles*

But then the feeling dissipated not too long ago *Thank You God* and I feel much better now after checking my office mail (yes, the irony that checking my office email can make me feel better!) and realising that there was nothing much that happened over the weekend and on Monday. Nevertheless, there will be some long days ahead and I hope and pray fervently that everything goes accordingly and smoothly.

For now, the posts that I really want to write about, feelings, freedom, inspiration, thoughts and etc. will just have to wait till I have some free moments. Till then, hope everyone is doing well and that the new month of September brings lots of lovely susprises and goes along as smooth as silk (just like the new yellow and white silk pajama bottoms from La Senza that I am wearing - its so so so comfy).

Oh yes, Happy Merdeka! (I did not feel an ounce of the merdeka spirit and was sorely disappointed when there were no fireworks and the Curve area it was kinda like a ritual of sorts really... damn scuffs... damn economic slowdown!)

*virtual hugs and wishes of sweet dreams and happy endings to all my dear friends*

A simple prayer

Let my soul take refuge... beneath the shadow of Your wings:

Let my heart, this sea of restless waves, find peace in You, O God.

- St. Augustine -

The days are long

and often filled with all kinds of conflicting emotions.

Work piles up like mountain ranges,

stacks next to stacks next to stacks.

I sometimes wonder if this is what I really want

if in fact this is the path I should take...

I don't quite know,

but as I say this simple prayer,

my heart quietens and I find peace for another day.

An eagle

You are not called to be a canary in a cage.

You are called to be an eagle,

and to fly sun to sun, over continents.

- Henry Ward Beecher -