I hope

Hope is wanting something so eagerly that – in spite of all the evidence that you’re not going to get it – you go right on wanting it.

- Norman Vincent Peale-

Free Falling

I am free falling.

Grasping at thin air.

Willing my wings to unfurl and fly.

They are failing me now.

I am free falling.

But I know I will take flight again.

I am praying, begging, hoping it is soon.

19 steps

Nineteen steps backwards today...
One small step forward perhaps tomorrow...

Once I wanted to be the greatest and no one could stop me.
And then there was you...
You who could stop me with the bat of an eyelash, a wink, a grin, a toothy smile.
I lived in your light, in your arms,
I never thought I belonged there but you convinced me and I believed I was made for this. Made for your arms, your kiss, your embrace.

But here I stand, sorrowful,.
Without a friend or ally it is hard to make ones way into the world.
So sad that it makes my heart curdle like milk left out for too long.
Like cement unattended too in wheelbarrows by the side of the pavement.
How many times do I need to go through the wrong to get a right?
To get the right formula and equation to a life that is content and happy.

I miss you.
The end looks bleak and empty.
Far out of a grasp.

Once I wanted to be the greatest.
But I will settle for what I am now.
I dont quite have a choice.

One step at a time

So often we hope our lives will change through a giant leap of faith, a profound decision, or a significant act of service. In reality, the only way we change is one step at a time, and every step counts — David C. McCasland

I am taking things one step at a time...

trying hard not to think about the future and what it holds in store for me...

but there are frequent times when I wish I change just like that.