That ‘something’

I have been stalking, following ardently, reading Elise’s blog almost daily simply because she has the kind of life that I would one day like to have. Same goes for Martha as well and several other bloggers/self made entrepreneurs whose blogs I frequent.

For those unfamiliar with their blogs or who these wonderful women are or what their lives are about, it is about a life of craft, inspiration, cooking, ideas, outdoor activities, DIY, family, friends… wholesome things.

Unlike my life that is filled with sound pollution, traffic jams (though B drives I hate that we get stuck in jams everywhere you freaking go), unimaginative drones at the office, deadlines, 9-to-whenever jobs which no one really appreciates you for, meager time spent with family and friends… unwholesome mostly very materialistic-ish type things.

Although I may not excel in a life of craft, inspiration, cooking, ideas, outdoor activities, DIY, family, friends… wholesome things (essentially a life of a Domestic Goddess, an ambition I am aspiring towards), I think the best part of  this  is the journey of experimenting and learning and most of all, doing the things that make you happy.

It’s also about enjoying the simple things in life. Taking the time to breathe, to hear the grass grow (“Splendor in the Grass” by Pink Matinee rocks my socks!), smell the proverbial roses (though the last time I did that I didn’t get a strong whiff of anything), to listen, to document, to savour the tastes, smells, sounds, feeling instead of rushing through things.

I fear I have spent most of my life running and rushing for ‘something’ and yet when I think about it in my quiet moments, I realize I have no clue what I am exhausting myself for. I am no closer to knowing what that ‘something’ is, much less achieving that vague ‘something’. And now, whilst I type, I think that maybe I already have this ‘something’, and probably have had it for some time without realizing it as I succumb to the rat race, to the “lets make more more more money so that I can have more assets and be successful” ideology.

The thing now is to be brave enough to say “enough!” and to finally embark on a journey that I really love. Its not easy. I think it’s how our brains have been wired… study hard to get good job --- work hard to get a promotion, huge bonus, buy more things --- work even harder to get bigger better promotion, bonus and more more things and so on… there is no end to this.

I type all this while I am supposed to be working that shows how uninspired I have become. I’m not proud of this really, more sad since at one point I truly loved my job and couldn’t wait to come to work. Those days are ebbing away rapidly. Ebb. Ebb. Ebb.

Anyways, I have much to think about. Choices, decisions, more questions to ponder and chew on and find answers to. Plus its almost lunch time - we are having Christian Fellowship at the work place (We have to meet in secret as it is apparently illegal to gather to worship as we have not applied for a  license. What nonsense!) today with a  speaker as well and its FRIDAY!!!

So happy Friday all. The weekend is a couple of hours away ~ am thrilled!

~*~*~*~

“Everyone must take time to sit and watch the leaves turn.”

- Elizabeth Lawrence -