A year later...

A year later and we still miss you Dane Eaton.

Till we meet again brother on that beautiful shore,

you will forever be in our hearts, in our minds 

and in our prayers. 

To read more about Dane and his story, 

read here, here and here.

A Memorial for Dane

These beautiful photos were taken by Timothy P Ongley, a friend of Dane's who incidentally also captured the photos of Dane riding. These photos were inspired by Dane and I just had to post this on my blog as there were some really good photos. 

Tim also managed to take some photos at the memorial service for Dane which are below. So as you see these few photos, say a prayer for Dane my little brother, the Eaton's, Maija and all of Dane's friend who miss him.

Sometimes, I look to the sky and wonder if the ones who have left us for a better place, smile down upon us.

I would like to think that they do.

He can now fly with his Angels wings.

Maija and Lee {our elder brother} plant a magnolia tree in memory of Dane. May the tree grow strong and tall and bring shade and comfort to many.

Till we meet again on that beautiful shore Dane. Rest in peace.

Far beyond the starry sky

Today is the memorial for Dane in Temora and 

I wish I could be there with my host family 

and my friends to bid him farewell.

But I am here, stuck in the office 

wondering and imagining how it would be like.

So since I am here and can’t say the words, 

I will send my words in the form of a prayer to my 

host family, Dane’s friends and to Maija.

I pray that they be comforted with the knowledge 

that he is in a better place waiting for all of us one day. 

I pray that they be consoled and that 

they have the strength to carry on with their lives 

with pieces of Dane in their hearts always. 

I pray that there will be helping hands 

and caring shoulders and outstretched arms 

to comfort them on days 

when the pain is great and hearts ache

 for his friendship, his smile, 

his laughter, his words. 

I pray for love not to replace 

but to heal broken hearts. I pray for all this.

“Soon He's coming back to welcome me,

Far beyond the starry sky!

I shall wing my flight to worlds unknown

I shall reign with Him on high!”

Rest in peace dearest Dane Eaton.

You will be forever in our hearts.

I miss you Dane Eaton

Today morning was a little slow I felt. B and I had our breakfast together since we were early and as I sipped on my iced coffee, I got a phone call. I was a little surprised, after all, it wasn't even 8.45am. So, I picked up the phone and looked to see who was calling and I realised that the number was an Australian number. My first reaction was one of joy, after all it is not often that I get calls from down under... but that turned to sadness all too soon.

I answered the call and it was Daneka, one of the besties I had from my days in Temora. She asked me if I had been on Facebook lately and then she said that she wanted me to know before I saw it online that my host brother, Dane Eaton had passed away {Read here and here for my information about how he passed on}


My eyes started tearing up and I could not quite compose my sentences. But then, what could one expect after news like that. My heart broke and I felt a whole range of emotions. 

I felt sad and I felt all coiled up inside and I felt pretty crap. I felt like getting on a plane to be with my host family. And then I feel thankful that I was not there. That I am saved by the distance. Because I would be a wreck amongst people that know him. 

Here in Malaysia, I am safe because no one knows him and if I like, I can pretend. I can pretend really well that this didn't happen. That just a couple of thousand miles away, Dane is happy. That Dane is alive. But I can't pretend this time and I feel such sadness.

I can't begin to imagine how my host parents and family feel at this sudden shock. I don't even want to think about his fiancée who must be so heart broken and lonely. Or how his friends would feel. I sit here tapping on my keyboard and I wish I could do more. I feel helpless but a friend said that sometimes, just praying, thinking, sharing the pain and the tears and crying to mourn would be enough. 

Luca (my host brother from Italy) and I were trying to call the family but we had the wrong number. I was sent the right one today. I will call tomorrow morning and speak to them but I am afraid. I am afraid because I may say the wrong things. That I might cry so much and be a useless mess. I am worried because I don't know what to do... but I guess God will guide me to do what is needed.

My heart goes out to my host dad Dan and my host mum Myrna, Lee, Jessi, Sara and Maija his fiancée whom I never got the pleasure to meet. I pray that God will shower them with comfort, peace, strength and courage to face this troubling time and I pray that the Angels watch over all of them and keep them in His care. I wish I could be there with all of you but know that you are all in my prayers and thoughts. 

B also wrote a blog post dedication for Dane which aptly captures the things I feel...

"Dane Eaton, formerly from Temora, passed away after being thrown off his Suzuki at Old Junee in the Wagga Wagga area, Australia last Saturday, 12 March 2011. He was thrown off his bike after hitting a power pole at a railway crossing while the bike caught fire after the crash.

He was 24.


My fiancee, DreamWeaver, was family to Dane and the Eatons for a year as she was in Australia for a student exchange programme back in 2000. Dane was a brother and a friend to DW for the entire time that she was there. Dane's family graciously hosted her and cared for her like one of their own when she was there and she still has many fond memories of her time there and sometimes she shares with me her memories and her stories about her time in Australia and in Temora specifically.

DW returned to Australia 2 years ago and managed to spend a day with her host family, including Dane but they were in the process of moving to a new home so she did not get to spend that much time with them. From what I can recall of her stories, Dane was a good listener and a fun loving guy. He introduced her to The Far Side Gallery and Harry Potter and helped her with her home sickness when she was down. He made her feel welcome in their home and he introduced her to the people in town. It was a shame that they didn't get to spend more time together back then but her return to the Eaton family home, Jesadale, was a journey that was memorable to say the least.

I do not know much of Dane myself, but I was very much looking forward to the possibility of them visiting next February when DW and I will tie the knot. It's a shame that Dane won't be there with us in person as I know DW would have loved it if he could have come along with the whole Eaton family. 

There's no more pain now, my brother. Our thoughts and prayers are with the Eatons and his fiancée, Maija. May you rest in peace, Dane. ForeverTwoWheels."

One day soon Dane-O, we will meet again. We will walk from the main road through the Bennett's drive to Jesadale and we will talk and we will laugh about life, about love and everything in between. 

Then at night, when the stars have come out to play, 

we will lay a blanket on the wet grass {like we used to do} 

and gaze up into the sky and make wishes on falling stars and daydream out loud.

You are missed deeply.

Say 'Hi' to Angel for me. 

the last day aged 28

Today is the last day of my 28th year. There have been many times when I catch myself thinking about my younger days and I just realised  that those 'younger days' were actually really long ago. High school is was over 11 years ago. I have been working for about 5 years. 10 years since I lived in Temora, Australia and did my student exchange.

Time... time really is fleeting. I would like to reminiscence about my 28th year and I will  just not today. 

Because today, I will stuff my face with lemon and pistachio cake {thanks Cat and Jun}, have a massage and foot spa, enjoy the half a day without work and celebrate for this year has just been incredibly awesome and blessed. Thank you Father God!!!

Cheers to a new and awesome day!

Remember: "Hoarding & Collecting is not a crime. It is an art!" 

Uber GRAND Changes

As I was going through Kal’s blog, Love Life, one of her posts posed this question to her readers: How 2011 will be changing for you. Baby-step change? GRAND change?

I left a shortish comment on her blog {was hoping to win a place at one of her online classes which sounds fab but which I don’t have extra $ for} and I did some thinking during my DW alone time over the weekend about the coming year and really, there will be Uber GRAND changes, opportunities and things I want to and will embrace in 2011!

Now as I sip on my last instant coffee drink from Vietnam {Vietnam coffee rocks my socks} at this late early hour, I will endeavor to jot down some of the events/activities {some of which you will have heard me mention before in my blog} that will take place next year that will surely change my life {part of me is super happy, the other heaps petrified!}.

A lifelong commitment

Perhaps the biggest grandest change not only for 2011, but really my entire life {how GRAND is that right?}, would be preparing to pledge my lifelong commitment and love to my fiancée B. 2011 will see us attending the marriage preparatory course with the church {when I finally get the forms and see the priest that is – Please God, make this happen soon!} and then proceeding to do our ROM (Registration of Marriage). In essence, come October 6, 2011 {our targeted date}, we will be legally married! *woot woot* It is such a big step but it is an super duper uber awesome one. We are also planning to do various pre-wedding photos shoots so that will hopefully take place in July or August.

Our Love Nest

I have lived in my home, in the same neighborhood for 27 years {a year was spent in Temora Australia on a student exchange programme} and this year will be the year I make my home someplace new. As I type, there is on-going minor renovations done on our new condo unit {a 15 minutes or so drive from my current home} and although B and I are not rushing to move in, we are taking steps into thinking about colour schemes, furniture, fixtures and the odds and ends to fill our new home. It’s a daunting task as there are so many opinions and so many ideas to consider and toy around with {I welcome any new ideas whole heartedly}!

I need to prepare myself for eventually moving out of my home and yet again some part of me is dreading this and another part is embracing it with open arms… this new freedom… this new rite of passage. Yet I can’t imagine not seeing my folks every morning. Having breakfast laid out in plastic bags {yes, I get that even till today, lucky me!}, having chats, sharing meals and watching telly with my family and playing with Belly {I will miss this little bundle of fur so much  it hurts to even think about it}.

BUT then I think of our new little love nest. Our own space. Our own home to build our own family. A place where we buy things that we love, that we have selected. There will be a walk in wardrobe, bookshelves to store my lovely books, shelves to display my Eeyore collection and our Elvis, Little Pony and Barbie toys and even a little nook which will hopefully be a place for my arts and crafts supplies. We will have friends over and host parties and play poker and Monopoly Deal or have  nights in watching DVDs on our couch or snuggling up in bed with our books and magazines or just listening to music and editing photos in our soon to be study {Btw, I am grinning as I write this}!

She writes and designs

Besides writing down my thoughts and including bits of inspiration  on Little Pieces of Heaven {I can’t believe I have been writing in this space since 22 May 2004}, I have been toying with the idea of picking up my freelance writing again and brushing up my graphic design skills {I have basically suck at this class and it was the only class in college that I got a C for} and because I felt I needed to do something instead of just talk about it, I pitched my writing services to a bridal and an interior design publication and tada, I am a freelance writer again.

The projects may or may not be consistent, but I am hoping there is a steady stream of work for me to compliment my already existing day job. Hopefully, once I pick up on my graphic design skills, I can pitch for more jobs that require me to do the artwork as well. I am excited and recall my younger day wandering around town doing my freelance reviews and articles.

If you are wondering why I am doing this, well, I need the extra $. After all, getting married and moving into a new home is not cheap especially in our city. Besides that, working in a corporate environment doesn’t quite allow you much creative freedom, so this will be another way to express myself. *woot woot* Here’s to more freelance work to come!

She will create

Since 2004 when I chanced upon my first issue of Better Homes and Garden’s Scrapbook Etc.’s publication, I have been enthralled by the world of arts and crafts and DIY. Before 2004, I had already started making bookmarks and cards and such but with very ‘simple’ tools and materials. The scrapbooking shops that I found in Singapore and in Kuala Lumpur offered me so many varied supplies I was lost and amazed at everything and I wanted everything! But with the exchange rate being really high, I was never able to get very many things. So I saved to buy my precious patterned paper and stickers and ribbon and all the pretty things I saw in stores.

School was mad and part time jobs kept me busy and my social life at that time was wayyy more happening that it was. So, I was constantly busy or had other things to rush out at the last minute like my assignments. I guess my time management for my personal life kinda sucks {till today}, so I never really got down to doing a scrapbook album. I made a few scrapbook pages, a couple of bookmarks and cards and that was that.

I still wish I had carved out more time when I was younger to do them arts and crafts stuff as it is even harder now with a full time job that is quite demanding at times, a fiancée B that I love spending time with, new books and movies I just “have to read/watch”, poker and Monopoly Deal to play, my beagle Belle to dote on and my parents to spend time with. It’s even more challenging to find time to do my arts and crafts but I think that this year, I will make it a point to stop making excuses and just take some time out to clear up a space for my arts and crafts and just {in the famous words of NIKE}, just do it!

This year you will hopefully  see creative things coming from me rather than me ranting about it all the time. Yes, I get tired of listening to myself at times too you know!

Entrepreneurial Me

With the impending move and my hobby of hoarding and collecting, I have decided to start selling some of my pre-loved items as well as some pretty things which I have sourced ages ago with the intent of starting an online store of sorts. Back in high school, I also made bookmarks to sell with Suzy Zoo stickers and I have often toyed with the idea of actually making cards, bookmarks and the like to sell. It's not like a business business {or not yet anyways} but it will bring in some extra $ and also allow me to use up my supplies {so I can make way for new ones} and to also start designing and being creative.

Corporate DW

I get the feeling that God is not quite done with me at my current job. I have been in the same place for about 3 years and a quarter and I still think that there are things for me to learn here. My boss offered me a new scope of work the other day which will allow me to save the world! Ok. I wanted to sound dramatic but it does have to do with saving the world, just not that big a scale {for the moment!}. 

I still go to work with a smile on my face and I don't dread work. I think God has already carved out a path for me in terms of my career and I am placing my trust on Him still for He has really sustained me and walked with me each and every day of my career and life and I give Him thanks and glory for all that He has done.  

It would be a lie to say that I will achieve all the things I have set out to do for 2011. There are some non-negotiables but regardless, I will be trying my utmost best to do all that I have set out to do and if I don't get around to doing everything, it's still okay. I am not going to be forcing myself but I will try to stop this procrastinating habit of mine which is just terrible at times *tsk tsk tsk* 

I look forward to these gargantuan changes and opportunities and at the same time, I will delve and indulge myself in my stacks of yummy books and movies, spend time with my  family, friends and the mischievous, gorgeous Belle {the beagle} who will no doubt keep me on my toes every day *smiles* and of course spending as much time as possible with B, finally watch 'Lion King' the musical and go to the Philippines for my brothers wedding. I can't wait. Like I said before, 2011 is going to be awesome possum!!!


Remember: "Hoarding & Collecting is not a crime. It is an art!"

DW wonders

I should be asleep. Its a working day. A busy day. I need heaps of coffee day.


But although I am tired, the words are coming to me. And since the words don't knock on my day often these days, I decided to write.


This post isn't going to show off whatever writing skills I have (or lack)... its jut a post about my recent (and even not so recent) wonderings...


So...
I wonder...


I wonder why the words have stopped coming to me like they used to. I miss the way I could put my fingers on the keyboard and my fingers would start flying across the keyboard, having a life of their own. I miss seeing my name/byline each time a poem or article of mine was published. 


I wonder when I will finally get down to all the projects that I have lined up. The ones that I promised I would write in another blog post. The projects that I have invested $ into. The projects that I talk about, dream about and wish for.


I wonder why at times somethings bother me and at times it doesn't. I would like to be consistent but I have no clue how.


I wonder when I would be able to forgive easier, accept easier and let go easier. I welcome this day with open arms but fear that the day will never come.


I wonder why I feel so small and insignificant sometimes and at other times I think I am a rock star. There are moments when I feel like crawling under my sheets and not coming out, loving the snugness and comfort of my blankets around me, hiding me, shielding me, comforting me.


I wonder what it would feel like leaving home and moving in with someone for the rest of your life. Opening your eyes and seeing someone beside you instead of your work table or chest full of books and your knick knacks and crumbly curling posters of long forgotten movie stars on your built in closet...


I wonder why its so difficult to prioritize, to manage time wisely, to unprocrastinate.


I wonder why I have to cuss and swear so much.


I wonder if God looks at me and shakes His head looking puzzled and disappointed at the person I am at times.


I wonder if I inhale everyone's ciggie smoke for more than 9 years, would that increase the possibilities of getting a horrible life threatening and disease and if yes, what do I do about it...


I wonder why I sometimes wish I could just pack up my bag and leave without a "hello" or "goodbye".


I wonder why the traffic jams are getting worse and why no one is doing anything about it.


I wonder what it would be like to have all your wishes, fairy tale endings and dreams come true. Would you feel happy and content finally or would there always be something missing, something that you are still searching for, that you yearn for.


I wonder if the shoe doesn't quite fit, if it has a small flaw of sorts with it, do you just not buy the shoe or do you buy the shoe anyways, flaws and all. Then again you wonder if you had bought the flawed shoe, would it in the end cause you more problems and grief then if you had decided not to buy the shoe in the first place.


I wonder how others would feel if they could just touch me and feel the feelings that I feel, this storehouse of emotions that I keep with me - sorta like an osmosis process. Would it be easier if everyone knew a 100% what the others truly felt?


I wonder why I sometimes talk in circles, harping over the same things that bug me over and over again and moan and groan and wish these things would sought themselves out when I know that it would probably be a never.


I wonder how I became the person I am today. I blame everything on the bad metabolism.


I wonder if Belly knows how much I love her and how much I think she is one of the bestest things that has ever happened to me.


I wonder why everyone's values are so different. Why some people are okay with this and how others are not... and most importantly, I wonder how to accept another's values if they are not the ones that you practice.


I wonder how I would be remembered when I leave this world.


I wonder why I keep torturing myself by looking at those blogs, those websites, those pages. 


I wonder when I will have enough $ to travel to Greece, to London, to the happiest place on earth, Disneyland, to other parts of Europe, to see Temora again...


I wonder why some peoples words and actions don't quite jive or if I am just reading too much into things and making up stories in my head.


I wonder what-ifs every now and then and torture myself with the endless possibilities. It's tiring and makes for a good pity party for one.


I wonder when it would be my turn...


I wonder if anyone reading this would be able to understand or feel the turmoil in my mind and heart.


I wonder...
I wonder...
I wonder...

In Melb

Its been almost a month since I wrote.
How time flies.
I am in Melbourne now as I write.
The sun is shining but the wind is bitterly cold.
I wish my dad and my bro and B were here.
My holiday would be more complete with them with me.

In two days time I go back to Temora.
Temora.
Temora.
I miss that place but wonder if I have grown away from it.
If I no longer can relate.
I hope I can.

This trip is much needed but I don't seem to have the space I seek.
My movements are very much kept in check which I dislike tremendously.
Perhaps starting from tonight it will change when I stay with Neeka and Matt.
But I am grateful.
I am thankful for being here.
I am enjoying things as much as I can.
and yet...
why do I feel as if things are just not right in some way.........

Mr PJ

I received an email from Mr PJ today.
(The pic is of Mr PJ and his wife Clare celebrating their 40th anniversary!)
He seems the same in the pic as he was seven years ago.

I miss him.
I miss the way he spoke to me.
The way that he explained things.
The interesting lessons in art.
The trips to the art galleries.
The encouragement and advice he offered.
The little notes he scribbled in my VAPD.
The joy that lit up his eyes when he spoke about Monet,
Mattise, Klimit and all the greats and not so greats.
His strange and soothing Welsh-Aussie accent.
I wish that I was back in Temora High School...
back in my visual arts class...
stamping my handprints next to his.

Date Night & etc.

Its about 11.45am.
I am not supposed to be here.
I should technically be back in the hovel.
But *lalalalala* Here I am in the B.Council again.
I find such solace here among the PCs and books that I wish I needn't go back so soon.
Well on to happier things...

Yesterday was Date Night with Sunshine.
We allocate certain day to be Date Night's where we do really 'coupley' things.
Last night we had a slow relaxed dinner at B.B.Q Plaza (was not too bad) and watched 'Transformers' (finally!) and YES, it was brilliant! I thought that it wouldn't be as good as everyone said it would be, but I was wrong. It was brilliant. However, Sunshine and I were so sleepy that we could barely keep our eyes open.
Next Date Night we will be watching the wizard boy in action I hope.

Anyways, am getting paranoid that someone might see me so will be heading back to mount doom. Just a little note to the following people:
* Pinkity ~ Congrats on getting to go on that awesome holiday. Bring back lots of pics!!!
* Ms P.Lo ~ I am surprised and proud of the decisions that you are making in your life right now. I would really love to have a coffee with you and bitch the day away... but alas you are too far away... MSN coffee???
* Maiju ~ I hope that you are settling down well in Temora. Enjoy yourself and hope to hear from you soon.
* BryBry ~ Thanks for the MLTR wristband :) I had fun at Genting.
* Sunshine ~ You make me smile. Thanks for Date Night and Morning Calls *smiles smiles*

More updates soon.
*hugsss and smilessss* to all of you.
Hope you all have an awesome day ahead.

*Dream Weaver* trudges back to the hovel wishing that she could be at home reading her lovelybooks,

watching her DVDs or doing her arts and crafts... basically just being AWAY from the mount of doom!!!

::: My Year Away :::

To: Anon, hope this keeps you busy and keeps the mozzies at bay. Thought back to the past and found this essay which i wrote before. Its kinda long, be warned and please help!

::: My Year Away:::

There was not a building in sight as I looked out of the grubby square next to me, only miles and miles of flat brownish land tinged with slight greens here and there as far as the eye could see. Dotted sporadically around were trees and what appeared to be little brownish blobs, which apparently were sheep. Sheep? I thought they were supposed to be white? (Apparently ‘Mary’s little lamb’ had a rather strong impact on me). My stomach started churning as the little aircraft bobbed up and down on the wind. The bright sunshine which filtered into the little grubby square window hurt my eyes and the cheese and dry crackers served with orange juice that I consumed earlier, bounced around in my tummy. I felt like regurgitating everything. To be honest I was regretting even getting on the plane, actually I regretted even leaving Malaysia the only home I knew.

It all started about a year ago when my mum came home and told me that her bank was going to sponsor 6 teens to go for a student exchange program and she thought that I would make a good candidate. For me, it was my one chance to leave, to broaden my horizons and to see the great big world. To make a long story short, I got the scholarship and was on my way to Australia for a whole year. I was to going to stay with the Eaton family at a small farming community called Temora in the Riverina, New South Wales. I didn’t know who the Eaton’s were, and for the life of me I didn’t know where Temora was. Everything was one gigantic mystery and I couldn’t help feeling excited, nervous, scared, sad and happy all at the same time. What a strange combination, huh?

My churning stomach had finally settled down but my heart started thumping as the little plane finally reached the little town of Wagga Wagga (an hour away from Temora), I was finally here. My host family, the Eaton’s, were there with huge smiles on their faces and after the introductions I was packed into the car and we were off for Temora. On the way there, the shock of not seeing any buildings and highways troubled me and I asked my host family about the lack of them and they told me that in Temora, there were no skyscrapers or even 10 storey buildings, there were no shopping malls, no McDonalds, or KFC’s. My stomach started to churn again as I heard this. I looked out of my window and once again I saw the sparse trees, brown sheep and miles and miles flat brownish land tinged with slight greens here and there as far as the eye could see

As I reached the town of Temora - population 4600 - my family showed me Hoskins Street, which was the Main Street in Temora. I did a rough count in my mind of how many shops they had and surprisingly the figure did not even reach 30 shops. The Eaton’s then drove me around to show me the ‘tourist attractions’ and I was praying to God that this was not all there was to the town but sadly, it was all there was to the town. I was more than a little worried about how I was going to survive, after all I practically lived in 1Utama and ate fast food almost every other day. I asked myself this similar question on many occasions during that year abroad. It was a question that shaped me in some way and I remember reading a quote while I was about to leave. It gave me a whole new perspective on life and my experience there in the little town of Temora. The quote went like this

“God doesn’t put you in any place to small to grow in”.

Well, after the "long" tour, which lasted a whole 10 minutes, I was driven to my new home ‘Jesadale’ which was a good 45 minutes walk from the Main Street. ‘Jesadale’ was a large single-storey bungalow surrounded by; you guessed it, miles and miles of flat brownish land tinged with slight greens here and there as far as the eye could see. The house was nice and homely. I loved the floor to ceiling glass windows that overlooked a wonderful garden bright with flowers of every colour and size. All the rooms had no locks and there were no grills anywhere. I wasn’t given a set of house keys simply because there was no need for them. I was rather alarmed about the lack of locks and grills and I spent many sleepless nights creating hypothetical scenarios in my mind of burglars breaking into the home and replaying horror stories my dad likes to tell me about "the dangers all over the place", but as the days passed by I got used to the lack of grills and locks and came to enjoy the freedom and the convenience that came along with not having to worry about keys and locks though the bathroom was a slight problem especially if you were halfway through some important business or having a glorious refreshing princess bath.

The Eaton’s as well as the people in Temora were all nice people as they always made me feel welcome wherever I went and were genuinely nice to me. My friends there were not that different from my friends here though at the beginning I thought it strange that many of them wanted to become farmers like their parents when they grew up, but that was their way of life there, farming. There were acres and acres of crops and it was wonderful when it was harvest time as I got to sit on the big machines and harvest the crops along with them. It was a unique experience, one that I still treasure . In the beginning though, some of my classmates, thought that Malaysians lived on trees and wore leaves as clothing – though in my case I would need huge banana leaves, eh??? Anyways, I sure put them straight when I told them all about the ‘mamaks’, the shopping malls, the clubbing, the food and the multi-racial culture we had.

While I was there in Australia, I didn’t just stay in Temora. Besides attending classes at Temora high school where I studied Biology, Advanced English, Math, Visual Arts, Geography and Drama, I got to travel quite a fair bit. I visited a town called Quandialla, which was located some 40 minutes away from Temora. Its population was less than a 100 people and they had only 4 shops in their whole town. It was interesting to live their kind of life for a good week, but I was really happy to be back in Temora, which then seemed like a huge town. I visited many other smaller towns and was amazed that there were people that actually lived in such small places. During my winter break, the Eaton’s took me to the Sunshine Coast, which was in Queensland. We drove there and I was fortunate to see breathtaking sunsets at Nembaka Heads, watch dolphins frolic at Port Macquirey, and a whole host of other things. The Sunshine Coast was wonderful with stretches of clean white sand and clear blue water. I spent many hours walking along the beach with my host brother or sitting on the beach alone whilst snacking on their delicious and famous fish and chips.

During my spring break about 35 exchange students from all over the world, piled into a coach and set of for a 30-day safari. We went to many places in Australia, such as Melbourne, Adelaide, Alice Springs, and Copper Pedy. There were so many sights that we saw that it would be impossible to name them all. However, I remember the serene rainforest in Melby Gully where there were actually glow worms blinking like little fairy lights around us in the dark, the wonderful rock formations of the 12 Apostles and the London bridge along the Great Ocean Road, the magnificent birds eye view of Ayers Rock and the Olgas from a helicopter, the pristine moon that shone above us as we camped under the millions of stars in the desert, the dazzling opal mines that we saw in Cooper Pedy, and the smelly and surprisngly super fast camels that we rode on near the desert. It was a wonderful trip, one that I will not forget anytime soon.

It was not only the trips around Australia that created such a huge impact on me, there was other things such as my debutante ball that I attended. All the girls were dressed in immaculate gowns of white and the guys wore smart suits. We even had to learn a dance, which was called ‘The Pride of Aaron’. The girls had to walk around in a circle with their respective partners whilst the judges and guests looked on. I strangely felt like I was participating in a dog show though at the end of the night I had the time of my life dancing with all my friends and getting sloshed on bunderberhg rum and JD and coke. It was all so exciting the church fairs and street carnivals, abseiling and mountain climbing, canoeing and horse riding, volleyball tournaments (I actually won three medals) and line dancing, and the many barbeques and bonfires. At times I wish I had a video camera in my mind so that I could tape all this wonderful memories that I experienced, all the colours, the sights, the sounds and the smells.

I have to be honest though, that when my one year was up and I had to leave, I wasn’t that upset. Not only my physical appearance (I had reddish black hair and was some 15 kilos heavier) had changed during that one year away but inside, I thought, spoke and felt differently. I was actually happy to go home as I missed my family and friends and I realized that there were so many things that I took for granted when I was back home and I was eager to start college and to get on with my life. That year away was like one long enjoyable holiday and as I think back I feel the pang of homesickness as I regard Temora as my second home. I plan to go back again soon to visit my family and friends and to once again be greeted by only miles and miles of flat brownish land tinged with slight greens here and there as far as the eye could see and the now distinguishable blobs of brown sheep.

To help *Dream Weaver* visit Temora again

PLEASE donate to the

“Send *Dream Weaver* to Aussie Fund"

---> Your help is most appreciated <---

*```*The Stars*```*

At times when I feel that everything around me is going so so wrong and I lose my focus and I quesiton everything around me... I think about the STARS. I wish I could go out of my house and lie on the lawn and look up into the great big Heavens and feel comforted knowing that there are so many bigger things out there and that somewhere under the same Heavens there are people out there with worse loads to carry. I feel so small under the big sky and I am reminded that life does not end here and that things that seem big and unsolvable today will be forgotten tomorrow and that time is ticking even as I type and know that time passes and that everything fades away in time... the hurts, the disappointments, the hurtful words, the pain... everything just fades with the passing of time.

I don't have a lawn, it was cemented when I was 12 and so the only thing I can do is look at pictures and remember those nights in Temora when I used to lie on the grass in the garden and watch the stars which were so beautiful that it would be hard to describe them.

They reminded me of diamonds scattered on a dark blue velvet cloth.

* May there be peace in my life tonight and hope for a better tomorrow *

"Aussie Days"

Much has changed since those

"Aussie Days"

as I fondly put it...

I sometimes wake up and long for a nice piping hot meat pie, refreshing orange and passion fruit juice and raspberry and apple flavoured drinks, delicious flaky apple turnover, and delicious chicken and corn rolls and of course the corn thins and cinnamon doughnuts from Woolies, and my host dads cabonara and host mums Jackies chicken (my Aussie mates would think me silly for missing these things... but if they didn't have them for 5 years they would understand how I feel!)

As Neeky says "oh....you could say....this is what reminds me of temora....alcohol...good friends...and a pole"... I will add and say, nights at the Westie, JD in a can, Bundeburg Rum and sheep sheds... *grin* Can't wait to return and not only eat the awesome food they have over there but to see my lovely mates over there. Neeky, Liz, Mark, Kylie, Sah, Dane and all my other friends... (if they are still around and if they remember me!)

So please remember to donate to the

"SEND-JOANNE-TO-AUSSIE-FUND"

and put a smile on her poor sad face.

Fav Qoute from Aussie:

(In memory of farwell speech in Temora)

"Do you like cats?"

"I like cats... they taste like chicken!!!"

Donations and Pledges are most welcome!

Thanks yous...

*hugsss*

Airports = Gateways

This year alone, I have been to the airport more than 5 times, the most times I have been to the airport in any given year. I also begin to realize that with each trip I make to the airport, the longing in me to go abroad deepens; the longing in me to visit my home in Temora, the longing to see other places that I can only see in the confines of my home in front of the idiot box, the longing to see other cultures, taste other food, smell and touch foreign things.. All these wants and longings stir in my heart restlessly like a lion pacing in its cage hoping for its return to the wild.

Every time I wave a friend off, I wonder when it would be my turn to go. My turn to heave my bags on the weighing scale to see if I have exceeded the baggage limit, when it is my turn to go down the escalators and wave goodbye to my family and friends. I know that I am one of those lucky ones that have had the opportunity to even get on an aeroplane and visited another foreign country. Yes, don’t get me wrong I am blessed and thankful. However, now that I know that there are such wonderful things abroad, it only increases my longing and wants to fly away to some distant country.

Its also true when they say that airports are gateways not only to another country but to another life. I believe that the moment you set foot in the aeroplane, your life changes and you are never the same again. Maybe this is just some silly little belief of mine, but how can you not change when you are away from home, away on a journey, on an adventure? Perhaps if you are going for a business trip, it is different, but it still does change your life, you could either get more clients, make that deal or not and etc. Even if you go for a family trip, your life still will change. You get to spend more time with your folks and it will make you love them or in some cases despise them more. Invariably, going abroad will change you. Sure doing everyday things might change your life as well, but I take airports to be some kind of symbol of change.

I see my friends going aboard to study and I wonder why am I not one of them. When I see friends going for vacations or for jobs that they have abroad, again I wonder why not me? After some time of pondering and wondering and pondering again and again over and over about why it isn’t me getting on the plane, I realized that perhaps it is not my time yet. Perhaps one day soon, I will be that one boarding the plane and waving to goodbye to my friends with weepy eyes but with a wide smile and much joy in my heart. So now, I guess I have convinced myself (for now) that my time will come soon.. So yeah.. I will be leaving on a jet plane, don’t know when I’ll be back again.. (Still trying to convince myself) .And for those lucky ones that get to go on aeroplanes a lot and who will be going abroad or are abroad studying, do enjoy yourself twice fold for me and consider yourself very blessed.