Thursday, December 29, 2005

See You Soon Ah Gee!

Before the sun rose, we bundled into our respective cars and drove the long way to KLIA - the day was finally here. When we arrived there we waited and waited for the inevitable moment to say "see you again" whilst I stuffed my face with hash browns and tried to think only of Happy Thoughts so that when the inevitable happened I would not shed any tears.
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After the too-short breakfast, we stood in a swirly line waiting for our last hug from G and for awhile I thought the tears would come when he put his arms around me but they didn't. Yes... numbness feels good I thought to myself - maybe I should be numb more often. I saw tears fall from other eyes and I looked away, afraid that my teat ducts would betray me like they tend to do at these sad and confusing moments. I walked with Spongy and YN furthur away to see G whilst he lined up and we waited for him in the long corridor which would take him away from us. I don't think he saw me though I wished he had because I already missed that sepet eyes and generous wonderful smile of his...

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It was time to go and as G walked resolutely to his new future, I walked back to mine. It struck me then that things had already started to change the moment he stepped onto that escalator and try as I might my eyes pooled with tears. Thank God no one is around I thought, but Wolfie was around and saw the tears. Tears which shouldnt have been there because this was a happy occasion was it not???
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At home, I tossed and turned in bed dreaming strange dreams with no real meaning and I woke up feeling more tired then ever. My heart feels strangely empty and echo-ey. How will the days be like now without G around I wonder. And tears start pooling in my eyes again and I swipe at them but they kept on flowing. Happy Thoughts... thats what I need... just Happy Thoughts for what I really want can't be gotten at the moment.

Regardless of it all, I wish you G, all the best and I hope that you will have a marvellous time there. You will be missed. I am waiting for you to come back, Ah Gee... I still have to whoop your arse in bowling *hugsss* We will see you soon...

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Tuesday, December 27, 2005

This Christmas

This Christmas has been very different from the rest.
The main reason would be the absence of the Christmas Spirit.

I tried so hard to find her, but she was no where to be found. I think that because of the whole hustle and bustle of shopping and trying so hard to find the "perfect" presents for my friends and family and just doing everything in preparation for Christmas, I failed to find and to recieve the most important thing, the spirit of the whole season.

I also failed to fully appreciate the meaning of Christmas and instead got sucked into the whole commercialness of Christmas - DOINK!!! I was also running around and playing hostess and peacekeeper this year that I didn't really enjoy myself and was too tired to marvel at Midnight Mass this year. I also didn't enjoy the delicious food at the various parties and the interesting company I was with because I had stuff to do. Everything this time round was hurried and unmemorable especially my annual lighting of the special Christmas candles at Our Ladies Grotto. I really hope though that Jesus knows I tried to find the Christmas spirit and to remember Him and be thankful for the real meaning of Christmas ~ It is quite a hard task.

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To be absolutely honest this is the worst Christmas in my 23 years of living. Maybe I am being super overly dramatic, but I know I am not. Its not that the presents were lacking (ok, so a little more wouldn't have hurt!) or that some big shitty thing happened. It was just that somethings were missing... somethings that were intangible.
Could it be the lack of Christmas traditions, the many squabbles that were persistant throughout the days leading to Christmas and even on Christmas, the friends that were around but which I never got to spend time with or see, the lack of time, the rush and the anxiety of buying Christmas presents and realising the debt you are in is now scarily more, the realisation that a good friend of yours is going to leave soon, the emptiness in the heart where old friends once resided, having stomach problems, realising that so many things are changing and are going to change soon, being afriad of the new year, waiting patiently for someone who never came, the lack of snow, hoping for miracles which can never happen......
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So many things run through my mind, so many thoughts keep me up at night. My Christmas Wish List wasn't answered much but I did get some pretty good stuff this year. A hifi set from the Possum, a new lip gloss from Stilla from my cousin, a glam bag from EditorIan, an Eeyore from HK Disney from Nic Lo, new books (can't wait to read em) and tops, a pair of shoes, bickies, chocies and etc.
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I guess the things I really wanted was impossible to recieve but the most important things that I asked Santa for this year were all intangible things. I realised while sorting through my newly cleaned room - the dust animals are all dead *hoorah* - that I had so much stuff and though I will need new clothes and gadgets and books, I had the essentials and it was enough.
What I asked Jesus/Santa for this year will only be known throughout the coming year and hopefully I will recieve it. They are Wisdom and Patience, Love, Faith and Hope and Peace in the world and in the lives of my family and friends. I asked Jesus/Santa for strength, perseverance and health so that I could carry our my dreams and hopes and most importantly that I eventually felt the Spirit of Christmas regardless of when it was.
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Anyways, this could have been worse, right? But I am thankful that all my loved ones (well almost all of them) are with me this Christmas. Christmas is supposed to be a wonderful time of the year and its sad that it has passed by so quickly... but there is always next year!!! Well this is a late wish but I hope that everyone had/will have a Blessed & Happy Christmas (there are 10 days left of Christmas) and I hope that all of you had a chance to feel the spirit of Christmas *hugsss* and may all your wishes, hopes, dreams and prayers come true.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

The Voice & The Little Girl...

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The Voice: What do you want for Christmas this year?
That Little Girl: Urm... (thinks really really hard)... to have you beside me.
The Voice: You know thats impossible, right?
The Little Girl: You did ask me what I wanted, right?
The Voice: I can't quite do miracles...
The Little Girl: But I thought you could do everything...
The Voice: No. Not everything.
The Little Girl: I miss you. Can't I just see you for a day? Maybe half a day if a day is too much?
The Voice: I am sorry.
The Little Girl: Is that a no?
The Voice: I am afriad so.
The Little Girl: Who is going to make me smile when I am hurting? Who is going to teach me to laugh when all I want to do is cry? Who is going to walk beside me when I am lonely?
The Voice: I am always there for you in your heart am I not?
The Little Girl: Its not the same...
The Voice: One day things will be different.
The Little Girl: Your one days are far away...
The Voice: Its better than nothing, right?
The Little Girl: Yes it is, but I still wish you were here.
The Voice: I will always be right here in your heart. You can feel me sometimes can you not?
The Little Girl: I can. But it hurts sometimes when I think about you but you aren't beside me.
The Voice: In times things will be better I promise. Do you trust me?
The Little Girl: I do.
The Voice: You will always be loved.
The Little Girl: Do you think that is enough?
The Voice: It is enough for now, for the days to come and the years that will follow. Always remember that, k?
The Little Girl: Its hard, but I will try...
The Voice: I have to go now...
The Little Girl: When will I hear from you again?
The Voice: I am not sure.
The Little Girl: Will you forget me?
The Voice: I can't and I wouldn't. Merry Christmas.
The Little Girl: I miss you... Merry Christmas.

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Christmas Spirit Needed!!!

I am sick!!!
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I haven't been feeling well this past couple of days and I have been feeling just icky so much so that I don't feel like getting out of bed. I can't eat and when I smell food I feel sick, which if you think about it is a great way to diet but the acid from my stomach is killing me and will kill me if this problem persists and the wind... well lets just not go there. I just feel so dreadful. The Possum and my folks have been pretty helpful but there is only so much that they can do and being stubborn me I didn't go to the doc's.
Anyways, the Possum decided to come and teman me today but he had told me that he wasn't feeling well too and had puked in the evening. I thought he was being super manja and didn't bother about it. So finally he came over and I was dozing in bed when suddenly I heard someone throwing up on my bathroom door and fumble for the latch and heave some more and more and more in the toilet bowl. Yes... it was the Possum. There was puke all over the floor and the door of my toilet and though most of the gunk was in the bowl, there was a fair bit of it on the floor.
So I had to help clean him, the toilet and the bedroom up. I was and still am tired but luckily I feel much better. I still feel pretty shitty but am alright and the Possum, well he is upstairs under my covers sleeping. He is better now, thank God. So much for having the Christmas Spirit *sigh* I haven't even done all my Christmas shopping and I thought that I had the Christmas Spirit earlier this month but I think it went a way for a bit and I am anxiously waiting for it to return. I really need some Christmas Spirit. Anyone has extras, please send me some.
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Saturday, December 17, 2005


Someone accidentally threw away two new tops the
Possum got for me, a whole bunch of Christmas
pressies for people and some stationary I needed.
*sigh sigh sigh*
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but I know its no point
and its only material things...
(trying not to swear!)

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

YAY!!! YAY!!!

My Suzy Zoo stickers are here from the states.
Finallly after like months *grin grin*
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Today has been a good day. The people at Genki Sushi (they changed my location) were really nice and I had free scallops and green tea and got to sit down. The patrons were also quite alright except for some nasty ones. And sure on the way back I met some nasties on the LRT who are stupid and idiotic... push shove and push is all they blardy know!
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Anyways, on to happier things. Got lovely food for free, has an hour of browsing for books, met up with an ex Leroy (not the SMDU one thanks) and his bro and I had a fun time laughing and joking, met my mum for awhile during lunchtime, had a lovely time in the RM2 bucks toilet (I just felt like trying it - they have Body Shop products for you to use and its super clean!) and dinner was yumms (thanks mum) and of course my stickers came.
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*yipeee yipeee*
(dances around in joy and bounces round the room - think Gummy Bears)

King Kong & the LV Pleaty bag

The Possum is mad with me for watching Kong without him.
Possum: Where are you?
*DreamWeaver*: Urm... out with FACES ppl... ummm... watching KingKong...
Possum: Doing what? Oh... watching KingKong!
Possum: Why you always want to watch before me?
*DreamWeaver*: But its free and I love movies. I watch with you againlah. Really I will! Don't angrylah...
Possum: Lets see if I want to forgive youla, ok... I don't like you now...
*DreamWeaver*: Urmm... I have to go now to buy drinks.
Possum: Golah! (In the rude-I-don't-want-to-layan kind of voice)
*DreamWeaver*: I call laterlah, k? (In trying-to-pujuk-kind of voice)
Possum: We'll see if I want to pick up or not!
*DreamWeaver*: Ohhhkkaaayyy! Bye... (URGHHHH kind of voice)
Possum: Bye.
***toottoottoottoottoottoottoot.... (goes the phone in my ear)
Super Emo right?!!
(but It's ok, I forgive him...)
[In the end he did pick up the call]

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Anyways, Kong was good. It certainly lived up to my expectations. *smile* I loved the sunsets and I thought that the scenes from Skull Island were really nice... that was how I always pictured Dinolands and ancient primative places to be like... okay... maybe not as nice... but you get what I meanlah. Kong was also quite sadlah... but surprise surprise... I did not cry. OK... so maybe because EditorIan was sitting beside me, but I held back pretty well *pat on the back* But... does that mean my heart is becoming like a heart of stone? Am I growing colder and meaner like Cruella De Vil... *tsk tsk* If I do become like her, give me a smack! Well I have to go now. I gotta work tomorrow at Sushi King KLCC... and I am so dreading that. I hope the people there will be nice to me *Please Please God, make them nice to me and help me fill up the idiotic sruveys!*

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Oh yeah... another thing. When we were on the way to MidValley for dinner and the movie, EditorIan and JoyceTheFairy were talking about bags and stuff and EditorIan says that his sister has an LV denim bag. I suddenly pipe up from the back... "Yeah I have one too!" and lalala... EditorIan talks somemore about it and then pauses... "You have one?" Yes I say. "You so have to use it now!!! Its the most IN thing at the mo!!!" says EditorIan.

Well, yes folks.
*Super no style out of season *DreamWeaver* has something In season for a change! But it doesn't make me anyhow differentla! I will still be wearing the no brand type tops and the usual jeans and have the messy hair!!!up so l
I have an LV bag.
Its a Denim Pleaty.

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I DID NOT BUY IT!!! if thats what you guys are thinking and even if I had wanted to buy it I wouldn't have had the mullah for it. I got it as a present from the Possum's mum. I feel super shy and guilty and undeserving for such a lovely bag, but yeah... its mine. I love it to bits so much so that I have only used it twice. And I am too afraid someone is going to nick it. I am that sort of person to keep and keep for "special" occasions BUT alas... I have few special occasions to attend to... but then in a more optimistic light, everyday is special as we are alive... so maybe I will bring the baggy out with me tomorrow...

After kena chop in the LRT and then I will be sobbing by the roadside.
I should sleep being super drama now and stop thinking about the bag...
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Nights nights peeps...
*Sweet Dreams*
And may you all have a wonderful day tomorrow.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Ahhhh the life...

SO sorry for the onslaught of posts and pics...
there are more to come... hehe...
But because I am super considerate, I will post them at another date so that you guys can digust these posts first! *smiles* Hope you guys had a wonderful day. I had a good one though I did absolutely nuts except blog, read and play yahoo games... ahhh the life!!!
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*PS:Its good to see new people visit my blog.
Thanks for stopping by folks *smiles*


There is something innately beautiful about funfairs. The colours, the excitement and everything else about it is just wonderful. The Euro Fair that was open beside One Utama last month was just that. Beautifully wonderful. I went there on the first day of Raya with the gang and we sure had fun. I sat on the Ferris Wheel and the SpinAround Ride with the Possum as my heart could only stand those few rides. The other time I went to the fair was with the FACES crew. We took heaps of pics but I haven’t got them, though you can catch a few of them in the latest issue of FACES. Without further ado, I give you pics from the fair *smiles*
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Singapore Stories!

It’s been a long long long... two weeks
or is that three weeks now?

I can't remember and days seem to melt into each other that I tend to forget days and dates... but then again that could be because of my blurness *grin*

So here I am after a long hiatus from blogging (If you don't count the 2 brief snippets from Singapore and Narnia) with updates and pics - although not all of them as I don't have them with me. Now... the problem is... I don't know how to begin. Perhaps I shall start with my first Singapore trip which I went to with the Possum on the 25th till the 27th of November 2005.

~ Singapore Christmas Holiday 2005~
25th - 27th of November 2005

We arrived in Singapore slightly in the afternoon as we left late (Possums have a hard time getting up in the mornings) and stopped over in Malacca to have chicken rice balls and to buy dodol, nut biscuits, pineapple tarts and preserved mangoes *yummy* When we arrive in Singapore, we went to YMCA Metropolitan on where we would be staying for the duration of out visit. The hostel rooms were... well definitely NOT 5 stars and it would have been just perfect (Heck, we paid $70 nett for a night so we weren't expecting much) alright if they had given us a room with a window! There is just something unsettling about a room with no windows!!! Besides that everything was alright!!!

So after getting settled and dumping our bags in the room, we left for Orchard Road. The first shop we went to was a toy shop which I had gone to on my previous visit. They have really cool collectables and a huge huge collection of Disney and Eeyore stuff but so expensive *sigh sigh* So I did what I do best which was to ogle and gawk *tsk tsk* Anyways, the Possum located the Suzy's Zoo stuff (the main reason for coming) and after choosing the ones that I wanted we left the toyshop with the Possum promising that we would come back if we had time and of course we didn't come back 'cos there was no time *sighs*.

After that, we went to get TACO BELL!!! *hoorah* (I had a chicken quasidalla - I think thats how you spell it!) and after that we visit with his aunts and had an Indonesian dinner with them at Clarke Quay. Well... let’s just say that you should never mix Chinese food, Indonesian food and Mexican food together. It’s super unpleasant!!! hehehe... Anyways, after dinner and walking around the quay, we went back to the hotel to wash up and then we went to Coffee Club (my most favouritest cafĂ©) where we had chocolate mousse which was simply delicious and of course Tiramisu Latte for me and a fruity blended thingy for the Possum. After that, it was time for dreamland *snores snores*

The next day we had an early breakfast of bangers, toast, beans and juice and after that we went to Jurong Bird Park. It was really nice there. Like a whole big garden with loads of birds just fluttering about. It was a rather cloudish day with bursts of sunlight here and there and that was nice – not too hot! We took a couple of pics but they are still with the Possum so they will be up when I eventually get them. After the morning with the birds – I got to carry a hornbill on my arm – we went to Jane’s house. Jane is the owner of Pictures 2 Pages a scrapbooking site and we had arranged to meet up at her place where I could buy some scrapbooking supplies. I was super happy as I flipped through tons and tons of patterned paper *happy happy joy joy* but because it was so late we had to leave and after paying a lot of money for the stuff, we went back to the hotel to freshen up and then later had lunch and then we went to Plaza Singapura where Made With Love is – a scrapbooking store! It was super crowded and it took me forever to get to the stuff I wanted.

I got some more stuff and felt slightly guilty at the amount of money that I spent *sheepish* but it went away when I looked happily over my stuff and grinned like an idiot to myself.

The rest of the trip was a blur of activities from changing brand new tires, going to visit more aunts and having a delicious meal of bak kut teh with them, getting a good deal on a red turtle neck, a striped top and 3 cotton knickers – damn comfy – for RM10, line dancing (or trying to) with the locals, more shopping, going to Borders, buying all kinds of chocolates and drinks (Green tea with peppermint and lime Coke) and going dancing on the 71st floor in New Asia club in Swisshotel the Stamford. It was really nice having good views and grooving to R&B and mambo-ish type songs. I also made friends with a couple of girls there so we had a fun time dancing as Possums don’t really like to dance. Had a lovely drink called Intoxicating Romance (how fitting!) and some martini’s and shots. Super happy and tipsy!!! *smiles*

Basically that was my whole Christmas trip. We had loads of fun… but we were quite tired as well, the Possum more than I ‘cos he had to drive there and back. Had a lot of new stuff which is still lying in bags around my room along with other bags from various other shopping expeditions. I also got my first Tatty Bear though he is a small thing with a purple fur jacket, he is the cutest thingy ever – thanks Possum!

One of the best things about the trip would be the decorations. The deco and the lights in Singapore are absolutely wonderful and upon arriving back in KL I was super disappointed and appalled at the pathetic attempt of Christmas decorations at One Utama. To think it is one of the “best” shopping centres in Malaysia – BAH!!! The concourse in the old wing is just a sad attempt to liven the atmosphere and to provide people with a place to buy decorations and the new wing is more like an Easter celebration with all that pastel shit and brick type Christmas Trees! Now whenever I sing “O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree!” I will have this horrid image of a blockish one with pastel bloody colours – SO BLARDY WRONG!!!Okay… am going to calm down… *breathe breathe*

~ Singapore Cineleisure Trip 2005~
2nd -3rd Decemeber 2005

This is my first ever work trip overseas – okay so it’s only to Singapore but still… - and I was excited at the prospect of it being the first and for going again to Singapore. The trip was fun overall. A lot of rushing which made everyone tired, but it was fun and I got to meet some really cool people such as Su, Maria, Ezli, Nurul Diyana, Su Keats and of course Cindy. We had fun walking and taking pics along Orchard Road, shopping, having our meals, watching Aeon Flux and having drinks at Coffee Club (Recommended by me nonetheless. I had Tiramisu Latte again and Strawberry Shortcake) and through the trip, we were constantly reminded to be ON TIME - it wasn’t our fault once when the cashier punched in the wrong amount!

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Overall, I had an awesome time and it was super fun… the only sad thingy was that it ended way too early.

Hmm... I already miss Singapore and the differences between Malaysia and Singapore became apparent once we crossed the border. For one the state of the toilets. Do Malaysians actually know how to use the loo or do we need the potty for reeducating purposes??? I am actually toying with the idea of going to Singapore to work but so far there haven't been any positive comments from anyone regarding this new thought of mine. Oh well... we will see how it goes and hopefully I will be there again soon *grin grin*

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Rediscovering Narnia!

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The book which I had read earlier this year was wonderful and the movie...??? Well it was AWESOME!!! I loved every part of it and it followed closely to the book and as I sat there in the recently changed seats with Editor Ian and Princess Anna, I really felt like being transported to a simillar place like Narnia and to have felt the silky mane of Aslan and to hear his wondeful voice and look into his eyes which would have made me feel at once ashamed and comforted. This movie is much much X a billion times better than Harry Potter!!!
Truly a masterpiece.
I hope C.S Lewis is proud of this movie adpatation *smiles*
A must watch! I am so gonna watch it again.
*More posts and photos up soon after my exams!

Friday, December 02, 2005

Singapore II

Funny how I don't have time to blog when I am home (There are so many things and photos I want to write about) but I dont' seem to have the time, but when I am in Singapore for work, I find that I have some spare time to blog.

Quite LOSer-ish right?

But I dont' want to get ass-whipped for losing in CS or DOOM or some equally vicious game. So yeah... HELLO!!! I am in Singapore again! *Hoorah* Gotta go... want to do some shopping before Aeon Flux starts *hugsss*
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