Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Reflection: Our Wedding

I have finally become aware that my wedding, the BIG day a.k.a Project Happily Ever After is about 4 months or so away…I realised that I have not done much at all and am I start to freakout.

The Princess Project is going… Well nowhere but I have been trying. Staying away from goodies like Famous Amos Chocolate Chip Cookies {I love love them}, ice cream {okay I had a couple over the past year but have consumed lso much lesser than before}, slurpees, cakes {ok… fine! I had couple of these two}, nasi lemak {cut down by heaps}, rice {the odd spoonful here and there} and practically no supper and breakfasts of cornflakes {Special K and Nestle Fitness} and low fat milk with the odd couple of coco pops thrown in for flavor. But I have been good {or trying my best to be}… I guess I have to really rev it up A LOT!!!
Then there is the gigantic List {5 pages of A3 paper} that I have developed and am working on ~ adding things, moving deadlines, removing things and then adding them again… {you get the idea}.
This List is an ever-changing document with “things to do” for my church and Chinese wedding.

It’s a mammoth List – literally! It makes my eyes hurt just by looking at it. But it’s a good way to keep track of the things I need to do and follow-up on. But every time I look at it I feel panicky and start getting a little crazy mad. The whole, so many things to do so little time ~ egad!

Ok. Let’s get back to the whole intention of my post. To reflect on my wedding ~ not the scary bits that are freaking me out but more about the “wedding” it its self. So here goes…

I sometimes wonder what people would say about the choices that B and I have made for the wedding. Be it the menu for the Chinese restaurant, the wedding invitation design, even my guest list. I wonder what they will say about my dress, or the type of wine we will survive or the photos that I am praying will turn our super awesome. I feel sometimes pressured. Pressured to prepare a wedding that is truly fitting for a wedding stalker enthusiast like me. It doesn’t help that part of my job at work is to plan events which I do so quite well I have to say {so far no major ‘poop hits the fan moments’}. Hence the pressure to coordinate, execute and ultimately have an awesomely perfect wedding.

But I think with all this planning, stalking  visiting pretty wedding websites and flipping through mountains {literally mountains} of bridal magazines, I tend to forgot the important elements about B’s and my wedding. Weddings should really be about the couple and their celebration of love ~ the happiness that they have together which will be doubled once they are married. It is the feeling of finally belonging to someone, to have someone with you for always through thick and thin, through the ups and downs and everything in between. It is about the magic and the happily ever after.

A beautiful wedding is not about what your relatives want. Nor should it be the price you paid for you photographer or that you did a destination pre-wedding photo shoot. It is not about the hotel you booked and the 100 tables you will hosting for your dinner. It is not about the imported bridal bouquet or the ambience lighting in the church.

It is not about the designer gown and the Cartier or Tiffany wedding bands. It is not about forcing the groom to consume large amounts of alcohol to get him wasted on his wedding day. It is not about the luxury bridal car nor the designer weddings shoes you have on. It is not showing off or parading the loads of money you have.There will be people commenting about everything and anything no matter how perfect your wedding is.
But we have to remind ourselves about the true meaning of marriage and being together.

A wonderful wedding should at the end of the day, {regardless of scale, grandeur and perfectness} be a happy and joyous celebration. A celebration where you see the bride and groom surrounded by family and friends with smiles on their faces and laughter in their eyes. You see hugs and your hear happy chatter and merry laughter.   

I sometimes get carried away when I see “perfect weddings”. I become envious and WISH I had this, that I could afford that and etc.But then when I think about it I realise that at the end of the day, the one thing I want is to be happy and to have a memorably wonderful celebration with people who love me and care for me.
Filled with God’s tender presence, family, friends, laughter, love and happiness. At the end of the day, it really is B’s and my special day.

Dear God
Help me to remember the real essence 
of what a wedding should be like 
amidst all the preparations and crazy 
busy days to come. 
May you watch over B & I 
so that whatever choices that we make 
will only strengthen the bond 
and love we have for each other. Amen.

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