Monday, July 24, 2006

I am "Trying"...

In times of workload, the past week hasn’t been all that busy though I have to say that I find myself standing up for myself more than I have done previously. I am not totally changed from my “doormat” status, but atleast it’s a progression of sorts.

Have managed to watch several movies recently the best being “CLICK” ~ I cried buckets, “Slither” being the grossest, “Pirates 2” being the most boringest for me, “Re-Cycle” being the dumbest and as for the rest… I can’t remember what I watched actually – poor memory due to old age!

Things have some what changed in my life. The emergence of a new friend and a lost of you is really pressing. Do things have to be this way? You win but you have to lose… *sigh* I miss you already but I guess this is the choice you made and I don’t know what else to do to keep you… and as for you my new friend, thanks for everything *smiles* its been fun and I will always remember these days although I have a sinking feeling that as the days pass, we will not be as close anymore... *sigh* -_-
(pops Rocky/Pocky in mouth)

Yup I can foresee them empty days…
Perhaps it’s a good time to begin writing again or to finally meet up with Shan, Gerard (who will be leaving again next month – sob!) and Swan (my student exchange friend) who is back for the hols… or just to catch up with myself… but hmmm… missing you and knowing that there is going to be empty days ahead is just not a very motivating thing really.

Anyways, its back to work for me…
The endless grind of it…
But then I guess that’s life…
Work just another stage of life…
and after this stage I have to look forward to retirement…
too bad its like almost 30 and a ½ years away!
What joy!!!

My end note would be that I am “trying” to enjoy working. I am “trying” to make the most of my life. I am “trying” to detach myself away from you ~ its not really working, I am “trying” to make this world a better place. I am “trying” to find the reason for being alive. I am “trying” to let you go and forget you… but it’s hard and I don’t quite want to let you go or forget you… but then I suppose that as long as I am “trying” it will be okay in the end, right?

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