Tuesday, June 01, 2004

+ The Whole Picture +

It has been a long day at college and I had a meeting to attend at church in the evening. Had a squabble with a friend today and it wasn't really a good start to my morning. Anyways, walking to the bus stop to catch a bus to college proved to be a good thing as it was a wonderfully sunshiney day (for those of you that did venture out of your homes in the morning, don't you agree?)and the sky was a wonderful shade of blue with those white puffy clouds. I just love those clouds. There was also a wonderful white streak across the sky made by a jet as well.. *Grin* yeah, my kind of morning. I arrived just in time for class as well and made it through the day without endangering myself or anyone with my not-so-great mood. I actually had fun talking to my classmates and planning for the American Week breakfast that we would be organizing.

It was drizzling slightly when class ended and it was a jolly nice sight to see the sun shining ever so brightly with the light drizzle falling together amidst the rays of sunshine. I had to wait for my friend to pick me up and on my way home in the car, we didn't speak much to each other. It was because the previous night, we had a huge arguement and no one wanted to be the first to apologize verbally (we texted our apologies earlier that day!). After some time, we finally spoke up and this wohle flood of things came pouring out of our mouths. Somethings that hurt and somethings that made us smile, but it was great to just get everything out of our chests.

Int he evening, I had to attend a cell group meeting at church and I felt super guilty as I sat there amongst them because I knew that I hadn't been doing my part in the cell group and I know that I should be doing more really. So, I decided that I would try really really hard, to change and do more for my cell group and church. Anyways, after that meeting, to celebrate the ending of the 'fight', we decided to go bowling. I won a game and I lost a game. After that since we were already in Bangsar, we decied to go for drinks at Alexis (Santini) and it was so nice to have the whole place to ourselves. We talked some more and had a fun time thinking about the past and where we were now and we got to see the whole picture about the issues that were bugging us the night before.

I realized that there were just somethings in life that I shouldn't get so emotional over. For example, what people think or say about me. Sure I would take in to account the things that my close friends tell me, but as for those snide remarks and crass observations made by bystanders or people who do not understand the situation or see the whole picture, I should learn to ignore their remarks and their nastiness, after all to put it bluntly.. they know shite!!! It has always bothered me, what people think of me and how they view me as a person and about how I look.. but really now, I don't give a rats ass. I say go stick it up where the sun don't shine!!!

You must be wondering why I am getting so 'expressive' over this issue, but I just feel that people shouldn't judge you just because you are different and just because somethings and some experiences are different from the ones that you are used to or are expecting. It doesn't mean that it is wrong or bad.. it is just different. No point in judging and being a critic about it. If you do want to share your viewpoints and opinions, do so, but make sure that these really 'constructive' viewpoints and opinions never reaches that poor vicitm. Again, I may have been guilty of doing something like this.. and I am trying to see things as a whole picture, so understand why people do the things they do and say things the way they say it. I want to udnerstand them so that I can kick them right smack there on their asses.. yup yup!!! Hehehe.. kiddding. I just want to know so that I will hopefully begin to understand why they behave the way they do and in that way learn to ignore and forgive them for their 'wonderful' ways.

It is late and I want to wake up early so that it seems that my day is longer. Much to be done and so little time. Got myself a part time job for a few days, and might be selected to read my poetry at some artsy function. Wish me luck! So goodnight and well, I hope that one day when you see me acting all strange and wierd, try ever so hard to see 'the whole picture' before you begin to judge me. Nite Nite..

*The Angel from my nightmare, thanks for a wonderful night today.. Luv ya!!!*

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