Monday, July 31, 2006

We Will Remember Them

Talking about unity and nationhood reminds me that tomorrow, July 31, is our Remembrance Day. On that very day last year I wrote two short columns on “The Real Ties That Bind” and “Lest We Forget Our Remembrance Day”.
I will not forget Remembrance Day and all it means to me. The long phalanx of our fallen heroes of all races and creeds will pass before my eyes as I remember them. As I look around at the myriad edifices and testimonials of our tremendous progress since those last dark days of colonial subjugation, I cannot but thank them for their supreme sacrifice.

“They went with songs to battle, they were young,
Straight of limb, true of eye, steady and aglow.
They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted,
They fell with their faces to the foe.
They shall grow not old,
As we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, not the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning,
We will remember them.”

(Laurence Binyon b.1869)

On this day too, my heart will go out to all the innocent people killed and still being killed in the conflicts around us particularly in the Middle East, Afghanistan and Africa – poor children. Poor sick and inform, poor women.
To all freedom fighters who against injustice, colonialism, oppression and occupation, I offer you my best salute,
May God be with you.

~*~*~*~

The following was taken from an article in The SundayStar, 30 July 2006, and as I read the papers of the past week and read the words from this article I think about the fragility of life and the innocent people and people of sacrificed themselves for a greater cause, the cause of peace.

So many lives are lost each day. Children who will never see their parents again, who will never experience their first kiss or play with their Barbie Dolls, or go to school or even have any of their own children or even to smile with their toothy grins. Children who were taken away too fast… too soon.

Each day there are innocents being killed in their sleep, people being persecuted, people being murdered, raped and violated and we sit in our own homes and watch television and MTV and worry about what we are going to eat for dinner. We watch the horrors on TV and thank God we are in a sae country but when the TV is turned to AXN or HBO, we forget the horrors we saw and push it out of our mind lest we upset ourselves too much.

What can we do? A friend once asked me. We are only one!

And I was at a lost for words because although my heart aches every time I read and see pictures and footage of war torn countries, or countries devastated by natural disasters, my heart breaks a little and I feel my eyes tearing and my nose clogging but I am at a lost of what to do. Surely the Lord has put me here on earth for something?

Although I am one, I can change the world I believe.
Yes you nod to yourself; the little idealist in her speaks again. The fairies are talking to her and she is in her little world of fairy tales. But all great heroes, all great people with visions believed in themselves, in the power that they had to change the world or to make a difference… even though they never could save an entire planet, to save even one soul or one heart from breaking would be reward enough in my eyes and I am sure in theirs too.

Sometimes I think we tend to live so much for ourselves that we cannot see beyond that circle of “us”. We always want better things for us; I do not deny I myself am as such. But lately I have begun to wonder about others around me that need so much help and who are in such dire situations. Who have lost everything and yet can smile… while I with the sulky expression flounce of to my room to sulk some more when denied the remote control to watch a different programme. What or Who gives them the strength to go on? God and your family and loved ones I suppose or your own sheer self determination.

I don’t know where my ramblings or my post is going. Its too big a topic to touch on especially for a lunch hour rambling… but I just know that life is meant to be more than what I have now. It is more than the social outings I go to occasionally, more than the clothes I buy, the movies I see, the places I have been. I am trying to find out that missing piece in my life and to fill the emptiness and to stop the tears from falling each time I read about the pain that has been inflicted on others.

The gift of empathy, a gift of sympathy, compassion and of understanding has been bestowed upon me by the Holy Spirit I was told once by a priest while on retreat on a mountain several years ago. Use your gift do not keep it inside. Perhaps its mumbo jumbo to you guys but I believe in it whole heartedly and I will try to fix that pain I see in my own way and perhaps one day, the pain will finally end for someone and my emptiness will be filled.
But for now, I will remember them all of them who have sarificed their lives and their time to help others, the people who have suffered, who have died and who have lost everything they have and I pray that in time they may find happiness and peace in their lives.

SO FAST!!!

Its Sunday night...
okay... Bugger it...
It's actually early Monday morning.
SO FAST!!!
It's like the days are passing by so quickly and everything that I wanted to do hasn't been done and I just keep seeing the dates past but I don't feel like I have achieved anything. This is terrible... *sigh* I want the weekends to slow down but I want the working days to go by swiftly.
~ God can you hear me??? Please hear me!
*sob sob*
This weekend is going to be one busy one... :(
I want the weekend to come faster. I want to relax and be with my family...
I think I need a hug...

Friday, July 28, 2006

A Funny Thing - Time...

It’s a funny thing –
Time…
Just last week I was flying high
like a kite without its string,
like a hot air balloon that some errant child let loose.

And today…
Today I feel like I am wearing leaded shoes
that make walking so difficult,
I feel like a stress ball
which has lost its squeezy-squashiness.
I feel deflated like a once pretty party balloon
now left too long in the open,
appears shrunken and shrivelled…

Yup…
Time is a funny thing.
Just seven days can change so many things.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

That Feeling!

“For a little while,
let's pretend everything is beautiful in this world...”

Have you ever read a really really good book and then was so disappointed that it ended because the storyline, the characeters and the plot was so riveting that you basically felt like you knew the characters themselves?

Or have you read a really interesting story, one where you could not stop flipping the pages, even deserting your friends, family and food just so you could read and then realised that the last few chapters were missing so that at that moment of suspense, you would never really know the ending?

Or have you ever watched a movie at the most suspenseful climactic part and the power gets cut or the VCD/DVD hangs or something shitty happened so that you would once again not know the outcome?

I just hate that kind of feeling…
The feeling of not being fulfilled… of wondering what could have been…
Yes I hate that feeling…
THE WHAT COULD/DID HAPPEN FEELING!
And I am experiencing it now…
But there is no story to read, no book to buy, no VCD/DVD to view again when these things happen in real life…

I guess this feeling is somewhat uncontrollable and I am finding that my life being tugged by some undercurrent which I don’t quite understand and I guess…
as it is such with these things… only time will tell.

I wish though that I will like what time will tell me…
And while I wait patiently for that day,
I pray my soul, mind and heart will rest in peace.
And YES,
"For a little while,
I will pretend that everything is beautiful in this world..."

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Talking To Your Emotions...

Talking To Your Emotions: How To Heal Your Life Quickly!
By Rino Soriano - holistic health coach
What most people don't realize is that emotions are real things. The word E-Motion means energy in motion. Emotions become real the second you create them. However, where most people go wrong is they suppress them because they feel no right to have those feelings on an unconscious level. So then they bury these feelings and they sit there and grow waiting to get your full attention. These emotions become real like people and want to be honored and acknowledged. The more you ignore them, the bigger they impact your life because they want you to pay attention to them. If you keep hiding them or suppressing them, well, then they say ok...I will get your attention soon enough.

So, the key is to feel your emotions completely. If you have to cry for days then cry, if you feel like being alone then tell the people in your life you want space. Feel your emotions in their full capacity. They then fade into nothingness because they have been honored, felt and expressed. If you can really master this you can have dramatic shifts in your health, career, finances and relationships in a short period of time. This above all else will get you to optimum health and an amazing life faster than anything else.

Life events come into your life to teach you something. The Universe is always steering you where you are meant to be. When you resist and fight to have it your way, well, then you will get zinged because sometimes what your EGO wants is not what the Universe (Creator) has in store for you. It is kind of like getting into a raft and then letting the current of the stream take you for a ride. You don't have to paddle or apply any effort. The energy of the water is carrying you. However, when you try to go against the stream or go upstream as many people want to do in life, well, you end up exhausted, angry, bitter and completely confused. The key is to LET GO & ENJOY THE RIDE.

Essentially, illness, struggle, and drama is not trusting the process of life and wanting to go against the stream. The magic comes when you can learn to trust the Universe and LET GO, really let go and stop trying to control everything in life.

Perhaps, you getting fired from your job was the Universe attempting to tell you that you are now meant to do something else or perhaps it is a lesson of forgiveness and understanding or perhaps the Universe is steering you down a different path because maybe you are meant to do great things in life by helping people. Maybe, there is another profession that you are meant to do that will help more people than you were able to in your last profession.

Can you see this? On a spiritual level, the Universe is always out for your best interest. You must learn to surrender to the Infinite Intelligence that created this amazing Universe and beyond. Do you think that the Creator would cause you to suffer or steer you down the wrong path? The Creator that created everything you see and the perfection of all of it...do you for one minute think that it would mess your life up by pointing you in the wrong direction? IT IS ALL PERFECT.

The EGO doesn't want you to see that because to see your life that way would mean the end of it...THE EGO,the false self that has taken control of your life all these years. That is your mission in this life, to merge back with your spirit and surrender all the illusions of the EGO. This is the place of magic, healing, happiness, health, joy and freedom. Exercise For Rapid Emotional Healing

So, for rapid emotional healing you must go deep within yourself and ask...what am I really feeling? Then write down what comes up. Let those feelings be there for the moment. Honor those feelings and talk to them and say..."I know you are there...I feel you". Tell those feelings that it is ok to express themselves. Let whatever comes simply express itself. If it is anger be angry...if it is frustration be frustrated...if it is bitterness then be bitter. Allow the emotions to fully express themselves. Keep your concentration on the center of the feeling. You will find that when you are honest with your feelings and really acknowledge them and express them fully....after, these feelings will fade away.
~*~*~*~
So I suppose its okay if I throw a temper tantrum right now because I am pissed mad... or perhaps I can go to the loo now and sob my eyes out because part of my heart is breaking... or perhaps I can just go smash everyones elses monitor, call all the arse-of-ppl-that-are-my-clients and tell them that THEY SUCK, tell everyone that pisses me off what I really think about them and perhaps I can blast my media player and dance to Body Rockers right now!
*pause*
- silence-
-_-
I think my emotions are pissed at me.
They are asking me to shut up and just go home...
I should so go home...
I want to sleep in my nice comfy slightly saggy thin matteress with my new lovely Butterfly sheets with the air con on and lovely sounds of nature aroun me (from the CD of course) and perhaps someone beside me would add to the niceness of the day...
*pause*
My emotions say I should stop my wishful thinking and start the planning.
~hoorah hoorah~
*pause*
My emotions now say that I should go in the loo and cry because suddenly my heart aches for something unnamable
~sob sob~
*pause*
My emotions are saying that I should just erase this post because people would think I am going crazy. They till not be wrong.
~hehehe~
*pause*
*SMACK*
My emotions are asleep for awhile...
I think I can manage without them for abit.
p.s: Excuse my madness... its the last Tuesday!

Monday, July 24, 2006

I am "Trying"...

In times of workload, the past week hasn’t been all that busy though I have to say that I find myself standing up for myself more than I have done previously. I am not totally changed from my “doormat” status, but atleast it’s a progression of sorts.

Have managed to watch several movies recently the best being “CLICK” ~ I cried buckets, “Slither” being the grossest, “Pirates 2” being the most boringest for me, “Re-Cycle” being the dumbest and as for the rest… I can’t remember what I watched actually – poor memory due to old age!

Things have some what changed in my life. The emergence of a new friend and a lost of you is really pressing. Do things have to be this way? You win but you have to lose… *sigh* I miss you already but I guess this is the choice you made and I don’t know what else to do to keep you… and as for you my new friend, thanks for everything *smiles* its been fun and I will always remember these days although I have a sinking feeling that as the days pass, we will not be as close anymore... *sigh* -_-
(pops Rocky/Pocky in mouth)

Yup I can foresee them empty days…
Perhaps it’s a good time to begin writing again or to finally meet up with Shan, Gerard (who will be leaving again next month – sob!) and Swan (my student exchange friend) who is back for the hols… or just to catch up with myself… but hmmm… missing you and knowing that there is going to be empty days ahead is just not a very motivating thing really.

Anyways, its back to work for me…
The endless grind of it…
But then I guess that’s life…
Work just another stage of life…
and after this stage I have to look forward to retirement…
too bad its like almost 30 and a ½ years away!
What joy!!!

My end note would be that I am “trying” to enjoy working. I am “trying” to make the most of my life. I am “trying” to detach myself away from you ~ its not really working, I am “trying” to make this world a better place. I am “trying” to find the reason for being alive. I am “trying” to let you go and forget you… but it’s hard and I don’t quite want to let you go or forget you… but then I suppose that as long as I am “trying” it will be okay in the end, right?

Friday, July 21, 2006

Wreck Of The Day

"Wreck Of The Day"
~ Anna Nalick ~
Driving away from the wreck of the day
And the light's always red in the rear-view
Desperately close to a coffin of hope
I'd cheat destiny just to be near you
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up, giving up
On love, On love
Driving away from the wreck of the day
And I'm thinking 'bout calling on Jesus
'Cuz love doesnt hurt
so I know I'm not falling in love
I'm just falling to pieces
And if this is giving up then I'm giving up
If this is giving up then I'm giving up, giving up
On love, On love

Popped!

The Happy Bubble has popped!
~ SIGH ~
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