Its Saturday night and I am too sick to go out. My first week of work I have to say was pretty alright of course that is if you don’t take into account the fact that I was super sick ~ still am for that matter. The stupid panel doctor sucks I tell you. I told her that I had phlegm and I needed some cough mixture and antibiotics and she said “Don’t need!” What an imbecile. Needless to say, my phlegm got worse and I got sicker. So I went to my normal doctor and he gave me more meds which included antibiotics and cough mixture so now I am on the road to recovery though I am not feeling all that great now as well.
Actually, I feel gloomy and depressed to put it bluntly. Small miracles each day help, like someone picking me up after work, buses being on time, seats on buses, someone buying me panadols, someone SMSing and calling to see how I am doing and winning at arcade basketball. Yet I still feel a little sad, a little bit down.
I think that for me this phase in life is really difficult and trying. Working is life changing me, I have to say and in not the ways that I am familliar with or like at the moment. I miss being a student already and it fills me with sadness to think that all my life will ever be now is a routine... of waking up early and going to bed early and rejoicing in the weekends which will pass by all too soon and then the whole routine starts again… over and over again… *sob sob sob* How do people do this for years?
It doesn’t help that one of my dream jobs (writing for The Stars youth desk) was offered to me on a platter and I had to turn it down. I don’t regret taking this current job at Pat Lin but at the same time, its like “why approach me now?” couldn’t it have been 3 days earlier before I signed the contract?
I guess life never does go the way you want or plan it to go.
Well the good thing is that so far I haven’t been late to work and have been waking up on time… and slowly but surely I am getting well. Its going to take some time to get used to working and to get my life the way I want it to be (my life is in a little bit of a mess at the moment), but with the grace of God and some wonderful Angels around me, I hope it will be only be a matter of time before everything works out ok.
Still miss you…