Monday, December 03, 2012

Far away but not forgotten

Today I heard some rather sad news of the passing of one of
my old friends, Adam. His sister sent me a message on FB to 
tell me of his passing on 24th November, as she had come across 
some of my handwritten letters to him when we first met.
She said that when she read the letters, she realised what a
true friend I was to him and that made want to cry simply 
because I haven't been a good friend. If I had been, I would
have called more often, asked about him more often,
and met with him every so often. But I didn't.

I am happy though that I did send him a message several
weeks ago to just ask how he was doing, but I could
have done more... now its too late.

The letters are with Adam's sister now and she said that
she thinks he would have liked it if I kept them.
She wants to show his parents the letters and I inwardly
cringe at the thought of people reading my words to him.
I hope they aren't filled with embarrassing things.

Nevertheless, this is the note I posted on this FB page...
Adam, I am sorry if I hurt you and could never give you
what you wanted. Thank you for being a strong
supporter of my blog, for reading my words, for being there, 
for understanding, for not judging, for the laughter
for keeping the letters I wrote to you, for the dancing...
I will  miss you. I hope you know that.


There have been many things I have wanted to say to you over the years but the words just don't come when I need them too and because time passes and things change, and I get caught up with 'life'... I forget. I forget to email, or talk, or to stay in touch with just the occasional SMS or whatsapp to fill the spaces of our friendship. And I am sorry. Sorry for not making more of an effort to stay in touch. 

Now when I find out that you have gone, I suddenly have a 126 things to talk to you about, to ask you, to share with you... but you aren't here. Anyways, I would like you to have this poem. I am sure you have read it already since you have read almost every single one of them, but today the words are just for you.

You were right when you said "Only the fallen can see..the others like us, we walk together, side by side in silence, an unspoken understanding, we walk..." Thank you for the days when I needed a somoene to just walk in silence by my side. Rest in peace, dear Adam and may we meet again on that beautiful shore. 

Far Away
When I heard the news this evening,
I began to cry, I closed my eyes,
I never thought i would have to say goodbye.
I pray all day and I pray all night,
I hope you can hear what i say.
But millions of prayers wouldn't bring you back
Because Heaven keeps you far away.
I know that you are watching from beyond the stars and moon,
still I hold on to that one last dream,
that you will come back and
that things are not what it seems.
To talk to you and see you smile,
Is all i ask of you,
That one wish i hope would be,
But instead you must watch over me.

I will try not to cry anymore,
For one day i too shall knock on Heaven's door.
And on that day,
We will be face to face,
Your laughter and smiles i will hear again in that special place.

Still... I pray all day and I pray all night,
I hope you can hear whar I say.
But millions of prayers wouldn't bring you back
Because Heaven keeps you far away...

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