It has been exactly a month since I really wrote anything.
A very long month to be exact.
Am on holiday at the moment…
I have been looking forward to this holiday since I applied for it way back in September.
But now that its here, I don’t quite know what to do. All my grand plans aren’t so “grand” anymore and I feel strangely lost without work (I think I am just going insane)... Or maybe it’s just that I dread going back to work and facing the stacks of work that I know will be there waiting for me in neat piles on my desk *shivers*
It’s been a tiring month.
A month that has gone by so very quickly.
Having had so much time on my hands these past couple of days I had the opportunity to look back and I realized that unlike the previous years when I accomplished pretty much all that I set out to do for the year, 2006 has been disappointingly empty on one hand and surprisingly full on the other hand. Yes a big paradox if I ever saw one… but that’s how I feel. Perhaps the lack of having any expectations this year has resulted in this empty feeling… the feeling of not having achieved anything… then on the other hand I think I have achieved some things… some things which I never thought I would.
Like breaking away from old things and moving on to newer things, taking a stand for what I believe and doing things which I never thought I could possibly do.
As I said in one of my earlier posts, nothing monumental has happened in my life that will be recorded in history books, but that one change has impacted so many facets of my life. I never thought it would be this “life changing” but it has been as such and my God’s grace, things have been flowing smoothly along.
My last post saw me feeling shitty about work but in some ways I have accepted this sad and sordid fact that work will always be shitty! Been staying back late the past couple of days before my leave to ensure that everything will go smoothly when I am gone, the only rewarding things from this is knowing that I did my best, going on holiday with a peaceful mind and having an SMS from your boss saying thank you for my co-operation and hard work.
For work next year, the outlook looks promising and even if it is not I will try to make it great. I can’t think of changing jobs just yet and perhaps in some strange way I feel I belong at my current place. Sure there are shitty ass times, but I guess every place will have their share of shittiness (please excuse my language). So I guess you grow in patience when you are faced with this unpleasantness and I guess in all instances you do get to learn new things i.e. how to control your hand when it itches to send out a mighty slap to the person right in front of you.
Well enough about work.
Let me tell you about my glorious time at home.
This holidays I have been sleeping late, watching DVDs, going out and reading.
Feels a little like the old days when I was still a student and freelancing… yet somehow though I tried to emmulate the days that have gone by, I realised that things can never be the same again and no matter how hard I try that phase in my life has gone. I feel sad as I type this out but I guess truths hurt but are necessary in life.
Don’t quite know where I am going with this post…
Just felt like writing all of a sudden.
Anyways, in case I don’t have time to write anymore till much later, Happy Holidays, Happy Christmas and a blessed year ahead.